META

Versions

It seems like there are different versions of myself.

The versions that I look back upon and I don't remember the girl who is playing in that part.

The version I was playing when I was with you is not someone I'm proud of. You came into my life like a forest fire, blazing your flames across every inch of my body.

I felt lucky to call you mine. Every flower petal that dropped brought me closer and closer to spending my life with you. My life besides a man that really didn't know who I am.

As the weeks went on, we spent more time together. I fell in love with you the way that fall comes to the city. A slow stream and then all at once until you can't remember the way summer felt just weeks ago.

You made me feel like I had always wanted. Someone that was overwhelmingly loved for every part of her.

When we were apart, I had missed you every day. I missed our drives, I missed your hands, I even missed the way your hair stood up in the morning. You were everything to me.

When we met again, I was so excited that I could not stop talking about your arrival.

I waited at the gate, and you were late.

I searched every face, until I finally found you.

Only it wasn't the same as before. There was something hiding underneath that my simple eyes could not comprehend just yet.

I still embraced you and loved you just as much as before. And when the time came where the venom could not be contained, I saw the man I love turn into someone I did not know. I felt every teardrop, every ping in my chest when you told me I wasn't good enough, and every particle in my body screaming at me to tell you that I AM.

I felt myself pulling away from everyone I knew, including myself. I felt my threads tear apart inside of me until all that was left was a girl crying wishing you would just tell me one word.

I never quite understood how you could swear you loved me, yet be the one to ultimately almost break me.