It Ends Where It All Started ©️

19.

"two years ago, I was at friend's 18 birthday, he was a year older than me. Everything was okay, until everyone got drunk, but I didn't. There was that friend's sister, she was two years older than him. She was drunk as fuck. I couldn't with all those drunk people around me and I went to one of the rooms to sleep and then my night turned into nightmare"

I was staring at him shocked not knowing what he is gonna say next.

"his sister came to my room, she got all over me, she didn't want to let go, next what I remember is us half naked, with that I mean nothing down and all up. She was on me and she took my first time, she ruined my first time, she ruined my opinion of everything possible. That wasn't the last time. Couple of days later she somehow got my number telling me to get to her apartment if I don't want her to tell everybody that I raped her. I wasn't drunk, I remembered everything from that night and I didn't doubt myself. I went to meet her, to finish it all but it ended up with her using me once again. I couldn't tell anyone, not even my own parents. I broke all contact with that friend. Since that day I'm using girls. Since that day I'm cold, not caring about anyone, anyone's feelings. It became my lifestyle and I can't change it even last weeks that's all I want, to change it all, to become my old self, but I can't, I don't want to be used again, I don't want to get through it all again" he said and I heard him sniffing as tears were already running down my cheeks

I couldn't believe what he went through, all alone, without anyone knowing even his parents. He was raped and noone will ever talk about it because he is quiet, because he keeps it to himself. But he opened up to me, not his parents not my dad, not his best friend but me. And that made me even more emotional

I wanted to hug him but I was scared, I was scared that I'm gonna hurt him if I just touch him.

"you don't have nothing to say, I just wanted you to know the truth, but again, I beg you, noone will find out, please" he said and looked at me with tears in his eyes

"I promise" I sobbed and hugged him

Seconds later I felt his tears on my shoulder and I couldn't help but cry even more.

The boy I thought that is cold finally took that mask away, opening me his heart, showing me his broken heart, showing me his emotions.

We just laid there crying for God knows how long.

•••••••

I woke up in the middle of night because I felt hot. I tried to move but Leo was wrapped over me and then it hit me, he is the reason I'm feeling hot, his body against mine, his head on my chest, his fingers interwoven with mine.

I bite my lip, taking deep breath and carefully putting my hand in his hair.

I can't believe what happened to him and I don't know if I ever will. I was the first person he opened up to and it must have hurt but it let me know that he trust me, that after everything he has so much trust in me and I don't want to ever play it out. I have to keep him, to keep him safe, to make sure that broken heart heal again, that he start to believe girls again, that he starts to love again and I want to help him with that.

I pulled my hand from his wrapping it around him holding him close to myself as tears was falling down my cheeks as I tried not to sob but I couldn't and it woke him up.

"GR" he called half asleep looking up at me

"what's wrong?" he asked wiping my tears away

"why it happened to you?" I asked sobbing and he laid beside me pulling me to his chest

"it had to happen, I wish I know why" he asked stroking my hair as I just grib on his biceps

"let me help you please" I sobbed looking up at him

"noone can help me" he said as few tears roll down his cheeks

"let me try please, I promise we can make it up, I promise I can help you, I will do my best I just need you to be for it, I need to have your yes, I need to know you are ready to try" I said putting my hand on his cheek

"firstly I need you to take me away from all the girls, I don't want anyone but you" he said and I tried so hard not to burst into tears again, for him, to show him to be strong

"okay, just you and me" I said and smiled lightly

"just you and me" he repeat and hugged me