17.

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~GRACE~

I stood in front of my mirror looking at myself only in my underwear, not satisfied with my body for the millionth time.

The stretch marks, not that ideal body we all want, not those skinny legs, not fully clean face and hundred other things on myself that I wanted to change.

There are only three things I don't want to change about myself, my eye colour, my hair colour and my first and last name, because I got it from my parents.

I wipe away those stray tears. I put on my leggings and oversized t-shirt. I wanted to put on my sweatpants but it was family night and I couldn't dress like that.

I heard door bell and I just took a deep breath. I put my hair in ponytail and unlocked my bedroom doors walking downstairs.

"evening" I said and lightly smiled

Millie immediately got closer to me hugging me as I just smiled even more. She was so sweet.

"hey" I smiled at her as she looked at me

"hey" she said happily

I hugged James and Kennedy as Leo just gave me that hey look.

"Ben and Kyle put on the firepit outside so we can get there, when you'll be cold we can come back in" mum said and everyone walked outside on after another, I walked after Kyle and Leo was still behind me.

I haven't seen him for three weeks and I would like if I say I didn't miss him, I missed him just being around now when he is finally here after 10 years, and those kisses.

I sat beside dad and that was, of course, in front of him.

Everyone were talking even him, just I was quiet, not saying a word and it all just because he was in front of me and I couldn't stop looking at him. Those blue eyes that was shining even more on the light will be the death of me one day.

"I'm gonna get some hoodie" I told mum and I walked inside

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes for a second before I walked upstairs.

I can't believe the boy like him can do what he is doing. He can have whoever he wants and that's probably the biggest reason he is doing this.

I closed doors behind me and leaned against them closing my eyes. For the millionth time past three weeks, his face was in front of mine, those lips against mine and those eyes looking at me guilty, like he is trying to tell me everything but something is holding him back and it was killing me.

I took first hoodie that came under my hand out of my wardrobe and I put it on myself after I took of my t-shirt.

I opened doors and in the same second I bumped into someone. Not someone, it was him.

"what are you looking for?" I asked

He was just looking at me with those eyes like every time that night when he kissed me. And that was right what he did. He pushed me back in my room pinning me against door and kissing me.

Even I missed it I pushed him away.

"our parents are downstairs" I said but that wasn't the reason I pushed him away

"I wanna ask for something" I said as he was just looking at me

"don't sleep with girls from my school" I said and he frowned

"that Sunday night, you slept with Lucy, from my class" I said and he leaned his head back

"and now I will need to ask every girl before I sleep with her if she is from your school?" he asked frowning

"are you crazy?" he asked and this time I frowned

"I told you all that because you didn't give up on me, you would fall for me if I didn't tell you, you have no right to tell me what to do about that" he said

"yes, I have no right to tell you anything but you have no right to kiss me after you kissed who knows how many girls past three weeks, after you slept with a girl from my school who is now asking me about you and throwing it under my nose that she slept with you, how amazing you are, how fucking attractive you are" I raised my voice waving my hands over the air

"yes, I fucking know that and I don't need her to tell me that just because you slept with her and not me" I said and he pinned me against door again pressing his body against mine

"don't do this" he said

"what am I doing?" I asked still raising my voice

"we said you won't fall for me" he said

"wrong! you said I can't fall for you, I didn't say anything" I said

"and I didn't fall for you, fuck you" I said pushing him away from me wanting to leave my room but he pulled me by hand throwing me on the bed

"you will make me do such a bad thing, something I'm gonna regret and hate myself even more" he said breathing heavily as he was on the top of me so close to my face

"Alex called me" he said and I got confused but next I know he rushed out of my room leaving me laying on my bed not believing what almost happened

As soon as I calm myself down I went downstairs, everyone were already in the living room but there was no sign of him.

"have you seen Leo? He went to the toilet and didn't came back" James asked and I nodded

"um....yes...I got carried on because Phoebe called, I saw him when he was getting back down and he said that he have to go because Alex called him, that's all I know" I said sitting on the armchair not believing he really left

He went to find some girl to sleep with, what an asshole!

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