Crossing Lines

50. Want it to end

I hadn't felt good like this in awhile. My relationship with my parents was always something that weighed on me but being able to sit down and come out to my mom, it felt like a weight had lifted off my shoulders. She hadn't said that she loved me or whatever but I wasn't really expecting her to. The fact that she reached out and grabbed my hand, thanking me for telling her was more than enough.

And it wasn't just things with my mom that had me feeling happy. It was Jake. Being with him was something I never knew I needed. He made me into a better version of myself, he helped me fight my own battles just happy to stand by my side through it all. I hadn't thought I'd find someone like him.

I was totally zoned out when my door bursted open. I jumped at the loud noise it made as it slammed against the wall. When I turned to look at what caused it my stomach dropped.

It had been too good to be true. That bliss and happiness I had been feeling, it should have been a sign.

Because in my doorway stood my dad, his face filling with disgust and anger. He didn't say anything as he stormed towards me. I was frozen in fear for a few seconds before I even realized what was happening. By the time my brain kicked back in and tried to get my body to move, to get as far away as I could it was already too late. It had been too long since I'd last been at the wrong end of his wrath. I hadn't been ready for him when he stormed in.

My father grabbed the front of my shirt pulling harshly throwing me out of my chair and onto the floor. I collapsed right there still partially in shock.

"You think your mother wouldn't tell me about some disgusting homo living under my roof." He spat.

I barely had time to register the words before pain shot through me. My fathers boot slammed into my side so hard tears were already brimming in my eyes wanting to fall.

I just needed to get away. That was my only thought as I tried to pull my body forward and crawl away from him. I didn't get very far before I collapsed against the floor again, my fathers boot slamming down on my back keeping me still.

"I'm not going to let you get away until you've learned what happens to cocksuckers like the filthy scum you are."

I tried to claw my way forward fighting against the weight on my back but it was no use. My father was bigger than I was. He was about two inches taller than me and he was a lot wider, his shoulders were broad and his arms were about the size of my head. This wasn't a fight I was ever going to win.

Just that thought was enough for me to quit fighting against him and sink into the floor beneath me. Maybe if I just laid here it would all be over soon.

I didn't even move when his boot left my back. I was free to move but I felt so defeated I just laid there, tears starting to fall down my face.

"Pathetic," his boot slammed into my side again.

"Repulsive." Pain shot through me as he kicked me again.

"Disgusting." he spat delivering one more kick.

All I felt was pain as I tried to curl in on myself.

"Please," I whimpered as I moved slightly, pain shooting up my side.

"You going to try to beg me to stop? You think I'd listen to you after you brought your disgusting filth into my house?" He yanked my body up and I barely had time to readjust to being on my feet before he starting dragging me out of my room.

Even with his words there was a part of me that thought, hoped, it was done. That he'd just drag me outside and shut the door letting me walk away.

I was stupid and naive for even thinking that for a second.