Imperfections & Love

Consequences

She moves her body away from me so I can roll to my back. My legs start jumping around from the sudden movement, until Charlotte uses her hands to apply pressure to them. Thankfully they cease so Charlotte can get on with the real stretches. She works her magic on my legs until a stabbing pain slices through my hip, sending a brutal reminder of how I need to take care of this problem, soon.

Charlotte helps me stand onto my left leg which is secured by my leg brace. With my crutches under my arms, she keeps her hand on my lower back while I swing my leg forward through the crutches. This is definitely easier than using the forearm crutches with one leg.

"I'm good, Love," I lean over slightly to kiss her cheek.

"Okay, I'll get the coffee going." She leaves me alone to take care of my bathroom routine in private.

While she's occupied in the kitchen, I quickly search through my backpack for the last few pain pills I got from Lance the other day. Shit! Why is there only one? I swore he gave me three. Lance said I was on my own after these few. These pills don't even look the same as the last ones, but he said these are all he had left, and they'll do the job. Honestly, I'm fine with stopping. I'm done taking these without Charlotte knowing. There's a plan in place now so that this damn hip can finally heal, and I can move forward. I'll take this last one today and then be done with them. If I can get through PT without pain being in the way today, then I can progress faster and not have to worry about missing Charlotte's doctor's appointments because of therapy.

I understand that Derek has other patients to work with besides me and this is the only time he can fit me into his schedule for today, but I hate having to miss Charlotte's appointment. What if she receives bad news today and I'm not there to be with her. Fuck! I swallow the pill, I'll be damned if I miss anything again.

After slipping a pair of grey sweatpants over my leg brace and throw on a black t-shirt, I crutch my way into the kitchen. Charlotte's already whipped up some bacon and eggs and sets my plate onto the counter in front of me. "Morning," Landon greets us as he takes the stool next to mine. I lean my crutches against the counter and press my butt against the stool to steady myself as I unhinge my brace so I can sit properly.

Charlotte shoves a piece of bacon into her mouth as she walks over to me, her hand catching a crumb that falls out from her trying to eat it so fast. "I'm sorry," she laughs as she's caught making a mess. "I need to go before I'm late for my appointment," she gives me a kiss.

"Call me as soon as you're done," I beg of her. This is going to be torture for me waiting for her call. I already feel nauseous for some strange reason. She cups my face with her hands and looks me straight in the eyes, "Everything will be fine, and I promise to schedule the next appointment so that you can be there too," she kisses me again.

"I Love you," I tell her before pulling her in for one more smooch. "I love you too," she breathes into my mouth and then moves away to grab her purse.

"Thanks for bringing him to PT, Landon. See you both in a few hours." And she's out the door.

"Hey, she'll be fine," Landon tries to reassure me.

"She better be. I hate missing these appointments. I already missed enough of her doctor appointments before, and I promised myself I wouldn't miss them again."

"I know, but this isn't the same as last time. She's not sick and you're not across the ocean, you're still here for her if she needs you. I'm sure she's happy to get you started with Derek right away so that hip can be fixed." I start laughing a little from the encouraging speech he just gave me.

"What?"

"Today your all philosophical and last night...what was up with you last night?" I ask him.

"Nothing, I had a lot on my mind," he fires back.

"Where did you go?"

"I had some things to do, and I had to meet with someone about something," he shrugs. Maybe he met a girl, and it didn't go so well. Maybe he's embarrassed to tell me about it. That would explain his behavior last night.

I straighten my leg out so that I can lock my brace. For some reason my hands are shaking while I secure the hinge.

"You good?" Landon notices my hands.

"I'm fine." Only I'm not fine because when I stand up, a wave of dizziness rushes over me. It takes me a moment to gather myself before reaching for my crutches. Landon cautiously stands by my side waiting to help me.

"I'm good," I say again knowing Landon isn't convinced.

"You sure? You look really pale? Do you want me to do anything for you?" He's watching me move my crutches forward then swing my legs through.

"I just need to get used to these crutches and only using one leg, I'll be fine," I lie, I can still feel my hands shaking while I grip the foam handles and my stomach's queasy again.

"Alright, well let's get you to PT before Derek comes searching for us," he attempts to joke around with me, which only slightly helps divert the awkwardness of our current situation.

The way my body's feeling after I get myself into the passenger seat, you'd think I just ran a marathon.

Landon sits at the wheel and looks over at me. "Jesus Levi! You're sweating! And your legs." I look down to see what he's referring to. My legs are twitching like crazy, so I forcefully rub my shaking hands over them to get them to stop.

"Levi? Seriously Mate, what's going on?"

"Muscle spasms. You know this happens when I'm stressed or worried," I grunt. I do realize I am not having muscle spasms, they may look like I am, but I'm shaking from the inside out. What the fuck did Lance give me?

"Your hands don't usually shake, and you look like you just stepped out of the shower with how much you're perspiring. Did you take something?"

Fuck!

"What?" I act like I don't have a clue.

"I mean, is this some sort of side effect or something?" Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! I probably am having a reaction, this isn't good.

"Just get me to PT. I need to stand or stretch to get rid of these muscle spasms." Hopefully Derek will have some exercises that will calm me down.

Thankfully rehab's only two blocks away. Landon pulls up right to the front door and hurries over to my side of the car. My legs continue to flutter around in spasm-like mode while I try and lock my leg brace. At least locking my leg straight in the brace helps my leg from jerking around. It doesn't matter what my right leg is doing because I'm not using it anyway. Landon hands me my crutches and remains at my side. Each step I take towards the door is a fight to catch my breath. My heart is racing so fast, I feel like I might pass out.

"Maybe we should get you to the hospital, this isn't normal." I hear Landon say, but it's so hard to breathe I can't respond to him.

Somehow, we get through the door and all I remember is Landon shouting for Derek and asking the receptionist to call for an ambulance.

At some point, an unintentional loud moan escapes my mouth just before I vomit all over the floor. An odd sensation takes over me before I feel my whole body become rigid and then...nothing.