The Edge Of Darkness

Confessions

Suggested listening: Kamelot - My Confession

-Jin?

The two were still laying naked on the bed after the shower.

-Mmh.

-I have a confession to make.

-What?

-I... struggle to imagine my life as totally alcohol free. I mean, I don't want to get drunk anymore, except maybe that one time in your lifetime when you celebrate something huge... but a beer here and there, some wine here and there, would them really hurt? Do I have to be completely sober for the rest of my life, forever? It scares me. It seems... restraining. I've been having second thoughts. And I don't like it.

-Have you talked about this to your counselor?

-Not... not yet.

-Well, you should. His opinion counts much more than mine. I could say things which could undermine your whole path to sobriety, whereas it's his job to keep you on it. Trust in him. I can support you, but I'm no expert.

-You're right. But I'm frustrated. I've been sober fourteen months now. I should be over these fucking thoughts, one thinks. Instead, they've been heavier and bigger than ever. I'm tired of battling my own mind.

-In that regard. Saying I can understand you very well is an understatement. I, too, have a confession to make.

-Cool, I have the sensation this is going to Hell very quickly.

-I have called Doctor Bosconovitch...

-Jesus fucking Christ, Jin.

-This power I've regained, this partial amount of the Devil Gene he injected in me... it made me feel invincible, powerful, almost at full speed again. But I want more. I want it all back, but without the menace of turning into a monster someday, or every time my emotions become too much. So, I asked Bosconovitch to find a way to stabilise the gene. To bend it to my will, and not the opposite. If he succeeded, I could safely access to the rest of my strength and stamina without the collateral effects.

Hwoarang's jaw was pretty much on the floor.

-Jin, are you even hearing yourself? You would risk hurting me, Eun-Jung only to have more power to yourself? You still trust that doctor? He's a total nutcase, I don't even know how he's still standing, let alone use his brains, and you would trust him with our lives? You have to be kidding. First you go to him to get rid of the Devil because you fear yourself and you hate yourself so much you actually killed yourself. Now, you go there to get the Devil back because you miss your power? You're not making any sense.

-It does make sense. I tried, it failed, and I didn't like the outcome. I found out it was better before, and if there's a solution, I want in. As simple as that.

-Nothing is simple in this situation, especially with a baby in the house. You are responsible for her too. If you hurt me again, that could be fine, I could live with that. But if you hurt Eun-Jung, if you...

-Don't even say that. And don't think I haven't tortured myself with that thought, too. That's why I asked Bosconovitch to be a hundred percent sure the gene is stable, or I'm out. I'm not doing this as lightly as you may think, Hwoarang.

-I still don't agree, but as usual, your body, your choice, my jurisdiction ends there. Just pray you don't ever hurt my daughter, or I swear I'm going to kill you myself.

The Korean got up from the bed and got dressed, hearing the baby cooing from the gym where the cradle was. He came back with Eun-Jung in his arms, kissing her temple, then going downstairs to get her bottle. Jin wanted to say something, but the words died in his throat, so he simply watched them disappear. He sighed, because the conversation went sideways too fast too soon to try and explain his motivation a little better. Of course, he cared about Hwoarang and Eun-Jung, they were his family, the first in all his life. He touched his dog tag necklace and held it tight. They were going to be a proper family too, in some country, very soon. He just wanted to be the best protector a family could ever ask for, the one he had always been and wasn't anymore. He only asked for that.

The ringing of his phone interrupted his thoughts. It was Bosconovitch.

-Good afternoon, Mr. Kazama.

-Good afternoon, doctor. News?

-Some good, some bad.

-Just tell me.

-There may be a way to stabilise the Devil Gene. But it's going to need blood. Young blood, mine won't do.

-How young are you talking?

-Your age, Mr. Kazama. Your blood is full of gene, it cannot be used to stabilise it. I need pure blood. Quite a bit. Your own type, which is AB, or 0, even better. That way, I can work on the gene's structure with the pure blood and try to stabilise the core structure.

-Are you positive it would work?

-Science is trial and error. I think it will, but I cannot know until I try. Rats won't help this time, I need human blood.

-I see. I will call you back. I may have a donor.

-Great, Mr. Kazama. I will wait for your call.

Jin put the phone back on the nightstand. Hwoarang was a type 0. If only he could get him on board with the experiment... but how to convince him? He didn't seem very positive about it. He could really be his turning point though. And there was something somewhat romantic is having his blood in him, too. He knew he had to play his cards really, really well to make his plan work, or finding someone willing to do this would become a real pain in the ass. Today was not the day to discuss it, that was for sure. Or not this moment, at least. He would find the right moment... and sooner than later he would be whole again.