irl!
Macy hadn't left her apartment in two months. She'd hardly even left her bed. If it weren't for her friends constantly checking up on her, then she wouldn't have eaten either. She was absolutely distraught. Ever since the breakup she just felt lost, like something in her was gone. She was heartbroken. To make matters worse, she constantly tortured herself with videos of Gracie on tour looking happier than ever. She couldn't stop asking herself why this had to happen to her. She knew, even before they started dating that she shouldn't have gotten so attached. But six months of Gracie stringing her along had left her a shell of a human being.
Her friends kept coming by, begging her to just come out of the house, just to hang out even after she told them to leave her alone. She couldn't bear to be around them. She didn't want to be happy, she didn't want to pretend to be. She was just fine wallowing in her sadness and hiding out in her house. She'd been trying to pretend like everything was fine. Anytime they begged her to go out she'd say she was just tired or she was feeling sick. But she'd begun to run out of excuses, she was getting tired of pretending.
It was so incredibly hard to act normal, to act natural. She hated having to pretend that anything about how she felt was reasonable or okay. She had completely and utterly fallen in love with Gracie and it was nothing like what she'd heard from her friends, or movies, or songs. It was all-consuming. Every second of the day was spent thinking of her. The love they shared was quick and immature and stupid but it had all felt so real. But after what Gracie had said she couldn't imagine that it was. She couldn't tell if everything she said was just her anxiety talking or everything she'd been holding in all these months. She thought Gracie was the one for her, the one she'd be with forever, her person. Now it seemed like they'd never happened, or at least that's what it seemed like everyone around her wanted her to feel. There was no one else in the world that would ever make her feel the way Gracie did. She just didn't believe it was possible. No one would tell her all those awful pickup lines, or buy her something just because she was thinking about her or kiss her the way that Gracie used to. Those feelings and those memories couldn't be replicated. Regardless of if they would have stayed together or not, there would always be a mark that Gracie left on her.
Now Macy was alone in an empty apartment that felt so foreign to her. She wouldn't see Gracie's socks on the floor of their bedroom or a plate of half-eaten cookies left on her nightstand. There was nothing. She had nothing. She felt as if she were trapped in this place, stuck in the past while everyone around her had moved on. She was stuck in this big apartment with no belongings, no furniture, and no pictures. She'd gotten rid of it all when they moved in together. All she was left with, were the memories slowly drifting further and further away from her. This was an indescribable pain, like her heart had been ripped from her chest. She spent every night crying and crying until she soaked her pillows with tears, all because Gracie wasn't here. The thing that hurt her the most, is that Gracie didn't even want to fight for her. She was all too ready and willing to give up and leave her like she didn't even matter. How could she do that? Say all those things about loving her and wanting to be with her when she had just given up without even trying. It didn't make any sense.
She hated feeling like this. She hated that when she woke up screaming from nightmares, she reached out to an empty space next to her. Those eyes that pierced her in the middle of the night. The arms that wrapped around her whenever she needed them to, had vanished into obscurity before her eyes. The hardest part is that she wasn't even angry with her anymore. She was just sad, and confused at how this could have ever happened. She just didn't want this, the distance. She didn't want the silence and the pretending. All she wanted was her. She wanted her to slip back into those familiar, cold, grey, sheets and whisper into her ear that she would be okay, that it was all a misunderstanding. But she knew it was over and once it was it would never begin again.
YOU ARE READING
MESSAGE IN A BOTTLE, GRACIE ABRAMS
Fanfiction"Cause you could be the one that I love, I could be the one that you dream of" A story in which Macy Frazier Is introduced to Gracie Abrams at a party and can't stop thinking about her.
