Harry Potter and the Phosphorus Rock

Chapter 2 - Harry is One Weird Boy

Harry potter was a special boy who lived on Privet Drive with his aunt and uncle and fat cousin. He's basically like the chosen one or whatever. But he doesn't know that yet. His aunt and uncle didn't like weird stuff, and Harry was super weird to them. Quirky even. So they abused him and made him sleep under the stairs, like normal people.

"Wake up!" His fat cousin said as he stomped on the stairs, making dust fall on Harry's special head that had a lightning scar. Harry got up and grabbed new zip ties for his clothes (they were three sizes too big because they didn't buy him clothes). Oh they belonged to his cousin, and he's FAT. That's why they are too big. Anyway...

"Oh! My little Duddliekins!" Aunt Petunia shrieked. "It's your birthday!! My normal little boy!! Unlike that FREAK that lives under our stairs."

Harry didn't know why he was so freaky to them. You teleport on top of your school building ONE TIME and you get labeled a freak forever. He didn't know how it happened, maybe the wind caught him? Still a freak, though.

Dudley waddled to the living room where there was an entire mountain of presents, even taller and wider than Dudley himself.

"Mummy," the birthday boy whined. "Where are the other ones?"

"The other ones?" Aunt Petunia asked.

"There were more presents last year!" Dudley cried, which is a very normal person thing to be concerned about.

"But Diddlyduddikinnians, these ones are bigger... And cost me three paychecks," Uncle Vernon said sheepishly.

"I'm spoiled and I don't know what paychecks are. I don't care. Where are my other presents?" Dudley asked, and Harry had to roll his eyes from the kitchen where he was making breakfast for them, as an 11 year old child. Very normal.

"It's ok, little tyke, we're going to the zoo."

"Yay! Harry's getting locked in his cupboard too, right?!" Dudley shrieked, and Aunt Petunia looked upset.

"No, he will burn the house down with his... freakish abilities," she hissed. Dudley screamed. "I DON'T WANT TO BRING HIM BUT I LIKE HAVING A HOUSE SO STOP CRYING! Everyone get ready!" Everyone got ready.

Harry was happy, he never got to leave the house. But if he smiled they would beat him or something so he had to act upset about getting to go to the zoo.

Dudley's friend was there for some reason so they took him and showed up at the zoo. In front of the zoo there was a lady serving ice cream so Dudley and his rat-like friend Pierre ordered Knickerbockers???

"What would you like, little boy?" the lady asked, and Harry looked around to see who she was talking to... before he noticed she was talking to HIM! Wow... no one talked to Harry before. Aunt Petunia hissed at the ice cream lady but she was already smiling at him so he pointed at the cheapest option, which was a lemon bar.

"No food for a week after that stunt," his uncle whispered in his ear and pinched Harry. The normal way to treat children, of course. Harry licked happily at his lemon bar.

They walked into the snake exhibit and Dudley got mad that animals sleep too, so he started pounding on the glass like some kind of chunky gremlin.

The snake winked at Harry. Harry stared at the snake. Then he read the exhibit sign.

"You're from Brazil?" He asked. The snake nodded. "Woah, I've never met anyone from Brazil before." Then his eyes lit up and the glass was gone. The snake said "fangs XD" and left to become the next invasive species in Britain. Oh and Dudley fell into the exhibit and cried. Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia were beyond furious and blamed Harry, like normal parents would. Harry wished he didn't have freaky powers sometimes.