Hood Life and Love: I Am What I Am

Chapter 5

Terrance called on the way to Chloe's house and I told him how my day was going so far. He was a little disappointed in missing lunch but understood my love for Chloe. He agreed to meet us there and help take in her groceries. So I wasn't surprised to pull up and see his SS Monte Carlo outside and him lounging in the front seat as if he didn't have a care in the world.

What surprised me were the posters taped up on a community board next to her building. It struck me as odd because I knew this part of town. I knew the people and I knew that community board. I was meant for lost animals, stolen items, advertising goods, and free stuff, and missing persons. It had all of that, but what caught my attention was a missing person poster. I knew that little girl on it. She lived across the street from my mother.

She was about sixteen, beautiful, and smart. Her mother was a God-fearing woman who brought her up right. She barely left the house. She was a shy sweetheart of a girl and she was missing. It pulled at something inside of me. That wasn't all that got me though. Her poster was one of many. There were about ten in total. All young beautiful, black teenagers. 

"Did you max out your credit card on groceries?" Terrance said, catching my attention. I turned in time to see him opening the trunk.

Chloe laughed and gave him a brotherly hug before replying, "She paid cash."

"She definitely tried to break my pockets," I said, grabbing a few bags. I shook out my unease as they joined in and we started to make our way to the second floor of her building. Chloe fumbled with the keys at the door, her hands shaky and unsure.

"Is your mom home?" I asked as I took her keys and proceeded to open the door.

I walked in before she could answer and got the information I needed. Her mother was stretched out on the couch. She was naked except for panties and a bra. Her wig was twisted and falling off and lay at an odd angle. It was just after noon and two empty bottles of vodka lay at her feet. The table covered in a powdery substance that's I didn't have to guess about.

Sometimes the reality of the life I lived haunted me. While I no longer sold drugs, not too long ago it was a way of life for me. When I first met Chloe I thought I was trying to atone for my part in the poison that was killing her mom. She didn't know it, but she was part of the reason I had quit. Seldom had I thought of the families that were being destroyed by the product. Until Chloe. Whenever I saw her, she reminded me. It was times like this one that I felt like a real monster.

Terrance cleared his throat and moved into the apartment as if he didn't see a thing. I turned to Chloe and she quickly turned away. This wasn't the first time I had been to her place. Once she called me because she thought her mother had overdosed. It had been a false alarm, but I had noticed how neat her home was. The only eyesore was her mother.

"Chloe, are you okay?"

She blinked back her tears and nodded her head. "I just wish that I could walk in here and see something different."

"I can make sure no one serves her," I said, the guilt hitting hard. While I didn't push drugs a few of the guys still did, and I had their ear.

"Believe it or not, it's better this way."

Chloe walked away and I was left to imagine what that meant. Was her mother worse sober? Did she hurt her? I watched the woman slumped on the couch a second more before turning away as well.

****

After leaving Chloe's apartment, I couldn't help feeling a little somber. Chloe was one of many. Even getting out of the game and going legit wouldn't change that.

"So, where are you headed now?" Terrance asked, walking up to my car with me.

"Going to see a dear old friend," I replied as I sat behind the stirring wheel.