Souls in November (Holiday Series #1)

35

"Mommy, I'm sorry." Gusto kong matawa pero pinigilan ko lang.

"Not me." tipid kong sabi.

Yumuko ito at pinaglaruan ang maliliit na daliri. "I'm sorry po. I won't do it again."

"You're not even looking at him in the eyes, Ashra." I gritted my teeth.

Razen took my hand right away because I was standing next to him. "It's okay."

Yeah, I know he will spoil her. Ngayon pa lamang ay alam ko na. Sana lang hindi niya sundin lahat ng gusto ni Ashra. Baka mamaya kasi ay bahay na ang ipagawa nito sa kaniya, baka bahay ng teddy bear niya!

"Why are you holding Mommy's hand?"

Binitawan agad ni Razen ang kamay ko. Iniwas pa niya ang tingin sa anak namin at bahagyang pumula ang buong mukha. Ashra is now looking at us with a curious expression, as though she is analyzing what were we holding each other's hand.

Bago pa makasagot si Razen ay tumabi na ulit ako sa anak namin at hinawi ang buhok niyang gulong-gulo na ngayon.

"Remember my surprise?" I asked her while smiling.

Tumango-tango naman ito. "What is it Mommy?"

"You've never asked me about your dad. Why?" I actually wanted to know her answer.

I could see Drazen's gaze moving from me to the Ashra in the periphery of my vision.

"Because she's not around Mommy." she bowed her head. "My classmates told me that if Daddy loves me, he should be around. But I never even see him once."

May kung anong sumasaksak sa puso ko lalo na ng makita ko ang itsura niyang nawawalan na talaga ng pag-asa. Ang alam niya talaga ay hindi siya mahala ng kaniyang ama at dahil 'yon sa akin.

"I have something to tell you about your Dad." I softly said.

"I don't like to hear it Mommy." she said that made my heart break.

Napasulyap ako kay Drazen at nakita agad ang mga mata niyang punong-puno ng sakit. Mapait itong napangiti sa akin.

"Your dad loves you so much. It's entirely my fault that you haven't seen him in years. " I started. "Back then, I had no idea that I was pregnant with you, and when I eventually did find out, I hid you from your father out of fear that he had done something wrong to me. But I was mistaken, he didn't do me any wrong."

I looked at Razen, who was getting a little teary-eyed from what he was hearing. I know he's in so much pain right now. Nang tignan ko naman si Ashra ay hindi ko malaman kung ano ang nararamdaman niya. Wala itong emosyon sa mukha.

"Your dad is actually here right now." Hinaplos ko ang kaniyang mahabang buhok.

I looked at the Razen squatting in front of us, who was looking us gently in the eyes, before turning my head back to Ashra again. Ang tingin ni Ashra nasa sa akin ay unti-unti ng napunta kay Razen.

"Hi Ashra." Razen waved his hand to our daughter.

What I believed would be an embrace between Ashra and her father turned out to be something terrible.