Should've been me || Katara x OC

twenty-two || serpent's pass

          There's a blanket round my shaking shoulders, but I still feel icy cold. The sand benders are guiding us out of the desert, and we've been going for almost an hour.

          No one has said a thing.

          I've been keeping my eyes on my scar for longer than I hoped I would. Still painful to the touch, I've resorted to inspecting all the creases. But it looks the same as it ever did. 

          When night falls, the five of us have found camp by a river. The sand benders left us hours ago, and I lit a fire to keep us all warm. It must have been 20 minutes of silence, before Sokka gives up and tells us all to get some sleep.

          I must have been staring at the stars for half an hour before Katara says my name. I had been listening to the others' breathing, noticing the change as they slipped under. I sit up and look at her, she smiles and nods away from the rest. I slip up soundlessly and follow her until we are out of earshot. She sits down with her feet in the river, and I sit down next to her and she pulls me close. 

          'You can talk to me,' she says. Her voice is so soft I almost didn't hear her. 

          I stay quiet for a moment and I look into her eyes. 'I don't know what's happening to me.' I whisper, and my arms begin to shake again. 'I'm scared.'

          She gives me a sorrowing look, then puts her arms around me and pulls me close. I rest my face against her shoulder and feel myself soften, the tension draining from my body. I become very still, until the only movement is the rise and fall of my chest. 

---

          A day and a half later, I lay with my head on my bag as I trace over the pages of Zuko's book. Aang and Katara are practicing waterbending next to us in the river. To my left, Toph is napping, and to my right, Sokka has his head buried in the maps he stole from the spirit library. After Another splash from the river, I turn back to my book.

It's been a year since I left you. I find myself thinking about you more and more these days. I regret to admit that the more I do, the less I can recall your face, your voice, or your attitude. I have begun to believe I may never see you again. So, I will write you a recount of my exile, as my way of keeping my connection with you. Even if this book is destroyed before you can read, I hope you know I have tried my hardest to return to you. Know that I will find the avatar and regain my honour. Know that father will take me back. I will come back to you.
I swear I will. 

          The first page of his journal. I have re-read this page over and over again. My mind cannot quite believe this is the same Zuko who attacked me. I can try and try to pull the boy who wrote me this back into my memory, but something between us seems fractured now.

          During our time in the earth kingdom together, I had really loved being with him again. Even if I did miss my friends terribly, I wished he would stay. Although, I always knew he could never bring himself to do that. 

          A hand on my shoulder bring me back. Everyone has gathered around Sokka's map, and he looks at me worryingly. 'You okay?'

          'Yeah, yeah,' I say, quietly. 'What's going on?'

          I look around the group at their identical expressions of concern, but after a moment of silence, Sokka carries on inspecting his map. 

          'So, did you figure out what route we're going to take?' Aang asks. He's cheered up a lot more since we left the desert. Although there is a spark in him which was been put out since Appa disappeared. 

          I keep dragging my mind back to the day in the desert, and I keep thinking of how he look at me with worry after my body glowed. Even in one of his lowest moments, he still showed concern for me, because his compassion was too great. I think he is possibly the kindest person in the world.

          'Okay, we just got out of the desert, so we must be around here.' He says, pointing to the bottom of his map. 'And we need to go to Ba Sing Se, which is here.' He points to the middle. 'It looks like the only passage connecting the south to the north is this sliver of land called the Serpent's Pass.'

          'That sounds cheerful,' I say.

          'You're sure that's the best way to go?' Toph asks skeptically.

          'It's the only way to go,' he says. 'I mean, it's not like we have Appa to fly us there.'

          Ouch. Aang turns away, and Katara shoots him a deathly look. 'Shush up about Appa. Can't you at least try to be sensitive?'

           Aang turns back towards us and smiles weakly. 'It's okay. I know I was upset about losing Appa before, but now I just want to focus on getting to Ba Sing Se and telling the Earth King about the solar eclipse.'

          'Oh, okay,' Katara says. 'I'm glad to see you're doing better.'

          Sokka clapped his hands together decidedly. 'Then off to ba sing se! No more distractions.'

          A rustle sounds from behind us and I almost fall off the rock I'm perched on. Three earth kingdom people walk towards us, the man raises his hand high and says 'hello, fellow refugees!'

          'Are you all traveling to ba sing se too?' Aang asks. 

          'Sure are!' The man says. 'We're trying to get there before my wife Ying has her baby.' He rubs his hand over his wife's pregnant stomach, although her eyes seem to be transfixed on my burnt arm, which i protectively hide behind my back. She gives me a pitying look and smiles before turning back to her husband. 

          'Great! We can travel through the Serpent's Pass together!' Katara exclaims, whilst she's met with three looks of horror. 

          'The Serpent's Pass? Only the truly desperate take that deadly route!' The man cries. Fitting.

          'Deadly route. Great pick, Sokka!' Toph laughs, punching his arm.

          'Well, we're desperate,' Sokka sighs, ignoring her.

           'You should come with us to Full Moon Bay!' His wife says. 'Ferries take refugees across the lake. It's the fastest way to Ba Sing Se!' 

          'And it's hidden, so the Fire Nation can't find it!' The man adds, glancing at me in his final statement. I frown knowingly. 

          'Peaceful ferry ride or deadly pass?' Katara asks, smirking as she turns to us.