Keyframe

.Once in a while even the elders are wrong.

"Somebody explain to me how it is I'm having a pint of Guinness with my younger self." the other Five asks.

"Older, actually. I'm you, just 14 days older." I state, feeling another itch and some sweat.

"I have pubic hair smarter than you." other Five retorts. "How's that possible?"

"I can explain." I say, itching my head again and feeling sweat drip down my forehead. "You see, one hour from now, on the grassy knoll, before the president is killed, you break your contract with the Commission. I already know you're thinking about it. All those years in the apocalypse, we never stopped worrying about our family. About Marah." I think of Rosie, calming down the itch and the sweat a little. 

"Well, today, you are going to do something about it." I shake with slight relief. "Today, you are going to attempt to time travel forward to 2019. However, you are going to screw up the jump and end up in this twip of a body, trapped forever, small, pubescent."

"I don't think Marah minds." Luther mutters, causing both of us to glare at him.

"Okay." the other Five farts, as he continues speaking. "Even if I was to believe you, what am I supposed to do about it, not jump?"

"No, no. I need you to jump." I seethe. "If you don't jump, I cease to exist. What I need from you is to jump correctly."

"I'm listening." other Five says, sweat dripping down his face and causing him to itch his face. 

"The first time through," I explain, feeling the paradox slowly take over. "I got the calculations wrong. That's how I ended up in this body. But now, I know the correct calculations."

"What is it?" other Five asks, eager to know.

"I'll be glad to tell you.." I smirk towards him, itching my chest. "in exchange for that briefcase you're holding under the table."

"Yeah, yeah, so you go back to 2019, as planned, but this time with the right math, so you remain a full-grown man." Luther explains. "In exchange, we get the briefcase that you no longer need. Timeline restored, paradox resolved. Everyone goes on existing happily ever after."

"That's quite a bit to take in." mutters other Five.

"What do you think?" I ask, itching my neck. 

"I think..." other Five starts, pausing his sentence. "I need to piss."

Other Five grabs both the Commission briefcase and his briefcase and heads to the bathroom.

I look towards the direction the other Five went as Luther grabs a napkin and blots my forehead.

"Oh. Well, besides the flop sweat, I think that went pretty well, am I right?" Luther states, thinking he's a good wing man.

"No, no, there's something..."I mutter, pushing Luther's hand away, wishing it was Marah's. "Something doesn't feel right about this."

"What...what do you mean?" Luther asks.

"I don't trust him." I mumble, itching my neck.

"But he's you." Luther comments stupidly.

"Exactly." I scoff, itching my neck and passing some gas.

Luther stands up to go and talk to the other Five. I drink some of the beer trying to re-hydrate, but all it does is get me more thirsty. I continue itching my neck and wiping away the sweat.

Two minutes later, Luther and the other Five walk out, looking awfully suspicious. 

"We good?" I ask, standing up from my seat.

"We're good." Luther says, smiling real wide.

"You got a deal." other Five comments. "We gotta hurry. Kennedy's en route. Less than an hour until show time."

"Why are you so anxious to get going all of a sudden?" I ask, itching my neck and farting again.

"Relax." other Five says, itching his own neck. "You're getting paranoid.

"Oh, am I?" I question, both of us farting this time.

"Okay, let's roll." Luther says, shuffling us out the door like sheep.

We start towards the grassy knoll. Luther walks with me for a few minutes before we make it to a bridge where he ditches me for the other Five. They walk up ahead of me when I feel the paradox start to take over. 

I scratch my neck as I feel people's eyes on me. "What are you looking at? See something funny?" I yell at random people. 'I wish Marah was here. At least she wouldn't be plotting to kill me.' I continue following behind the two plotters, getting more and more paranoid every minute.

"You wish you could pull off these shorts." I yell out, knowing Marah sure does like these shorts. 'God Five, get a grip of yourself.'

"Hey brother. How you doing?" Luther asks upbeat, walking with me.

"He's gonna kill me, isn't he?" I state more than sask.

"What?" Luther scoffs out a laugh. "What, him? He's gonna kill you? Yeah, right. That's ridiculous."

"You know, you're a terrible liar, Luther." I comment feeling more and more on edge. "You're a worse liar than you are a spotter."

"Okay, whose fault is that?" Luther asks, as if this is my fault. "What good is having a spotter if you won't even listen to him?"

"So you admit, you're conspiring against me." I state,  walking ahead of him.

"Do...do you admit that you're suffering from paradox psychosis?" Luther questions, having to be right.

"All I'm suffering from is bracing clarity about you and your murderous intentions." I admit, scratching my neck.

"Look, it's not like he's gonna 'kill you' kill you." Luther starts. "He just wants to kill a, um... version of you."

"But I am that version of me." I respond.

"Hey, I don't love it, either, but he's actually got a pretty good plan." Luther admits.

"What? The one where you guys off me and then jump to 2019 and save the world?" I say, scratching my neck and chest. I feel sweat drip down my back.

"Yeah, wait, how do you know that?" Luther replies, than asks confused.

"Because I'm him, and that is exactly what I would do if I were trying to kill me!" I yell, but not loud enough for others to hear.

"Okay, all I know is we've got one Five too many, and you're the one acting like a maniac." Luther answers.

"Maniac?" I question, a smirk on my face. "Luther, you have seen nothing. If you want a maniac, I will show you maniac."

"Okay, as your spotter, I think the best thing I can do for you right now is put you out of your misery." Luther mutters.

"Okay, Luther, listen." I say, getting ready to dumb down what I'm about to say. "I know your feeble mind only responds to age and authority, so listen very closely. Yet again, you are experiencing daddy issues, this time with your own brother, which honestly is making me a bit crazy. But remember this: I'm 14 days older than him. I have seniority here. So it is me you should be listening to, Luther." I say, getting up on my toes to appear taller, I yell as loud as possible. "I'm the daddy here!"

"Yeah, for everyone else. But you don't look like much of the daddy for me." I hear a voice from behind me, one that soothes my psychosis. "Hi love, Luther."

"Hey Marah." we both sigh out, turning around to see the girl in question in a whole new outfit with guns strapped to her waist.