Their Golden Heart

4 - Lin Yeona

It has been a few days since my meeting with the man on the grass-field. Jisung he had said his name was. After his clearly accidental slip up I couldn't help but laugh at the male in front of me. Thankfully he wasn't offended by that and just smiled at me sweetly. I had just turned away, leaning with my back against the tree as well, the both of us just looking up at the stars and enjoying the silence. I couldn't help but wonder why he was here, so after repeating the question multiple times in my head I finally worked up the courage to ask him.

"Can I ask you what you're doing here at this time?" I had asked him, my voice sounding not even half as confident as I wanted. He had just sat there in silence, leaving me feeling like an idiot for asking him in the first place. Thankfully he had responded after a bit. He told me that he just needed to relax. To clear his head. Many could've found his answer vague, but I understood him instantly. I was there for the same reason.

So there we sat, the two of us in silence, not a uncomfortable silence, no. It felt nice, to know that someone else needed the same space and silence as me. That I wasn't the only one who had to escape their life for a bit. I don't even know for how long we sat there, time felt irrelevant in that moment.

At some point during the night I stood up, remembering that I still had to study before I could sleep. I told him to be careful and not to hit his head on the tree again, this caused him to chuckle. We both said goodbye and he waved at me as I walked home the same way I came.

The last couple of days I've been thinking about our interaction over and over again. I can't help but feel sad for not knowing more about him then his name. For not asking his number so we could've kept in contact. I can't help but worry if he made it home safely. I keep scolding myself for leaving him there, in the middle of nowhere with a head injury.

So here I am, walking through the forest towards that same willow tree, hoping that maybe he'll be there too. Slowly the trees make way for grass and flowers. I feel the sun burn on my skin as I step out from between the trees, my eyes instantly locking on the old willow tree upon the hill. The grass around is completely empty, no sign of anyone being here.

I catch myself feeling disappointed to find him not being here. It's not like I expected him to be here, I mean why would he. We just accidentally met one night. We didn't talk about anything mayor. We didn't even talk at all. We spent most of the time in silence. What if he was uncomfortable the whole time?

I stop walking when I'm only a couple feet away from the tree. Even though it's daytime this time, the peaceful feeling this place creates is still there. I can hear some birds chirping in the tree above me. I sit down softly, trying to push the disappointment, that is coursing through my veins, away.

Even though our meeting has crossed my mind more times than should be healthy, I've not talked to anyone about it. I can't tell my mom, since she thought I was in my room at that time. I can't tell Hyeon since he thought I was home. If I'd told him now, he'd scold me for going alone, for not at least letting him know where I went. I don't want him to worry about me. I can't have him not trusting me anymore when I tell him I'm home.

I feel like the constant working is pushing me away from the people I love. I don't know why, but that moment with Jisung felt like the moment I've been the most honest during these past weeks. Even though we didn't talk, even though I might not have told him anything, that moment made me honest to myself. That moment between us two made me realise a lot of things and I don't know what to do with it.

It made me realise that this constant rhythm of school, work, study and sleep isn't healthy. It made me accept that I need people around me. More people than just Hyeon. I realised that I can't keep doing this, the lying to my mom. She loves me and I love her, we will figure out a way to make enough money, while neither of us will face physical or mental problems.

Maybe this is the real reason I came here. Maybe wanting to meet Jisung again was just my mind playing tricks on me to force me to this place. I just need a little more courage to tell my mom that I can't keep doing this. But what if she starts working too much again. I can't let anything happen to her. I'd never forgive myself.

I can feel the fear take over my body and I press my hands against my ears, trying to silence the thoughts, but they don't stop. I scream. Loud. As loud as I can, while still pressing my hands against my ears. I can feel tears rolling down my face and quickly wipe them away, not wanting anyone to see them, even though I'm alone.

I let myself fall backwards on the grass, closing my eyes and focus on the feeling of rays of sunshine on my skin. For the first time in a while my mind is silent. The soft chirping of the birds calms me down slowly, allowing me to let go of my worries for now.

I'm not sure how much time has passed before I reach for my phone, tapping Hyeon's nickname and calling him. A few seconds later he picks up.

"Hey Little One."

I cringe at the nickname. We're only a few inches apart, yet he loves to make me remember our height difference. "Hey Nemo." I respond, emphasising the last word. I can almost see him rolling his eyes on the other side of the phone.

"Very funny, what did you want?"

"I was wondering if you could help me with something." I push myself up, now sitting upright. "I need to talk to my mom, but I don't have the courage. Could you go with me please?"

His joking tone from before has been replaced with a serious one. "Of course, do you want to talk to her now? Where are you? Where should we meet?"

I can't help but smile at the wave of questions he's firing at me. He truly does care a lot for me, moments like these keep reminding me of that fact.

"Yeona?"

Him saying my name pulls me out of my thoughts, making me realise I never answered any of his questions. "Meet me at our spot in half an hour, okay?"

"I'll be there, see you in a bit Little One."

I smile at how he uses the nickname to lighten the conversation. I'm really thankful to have him as a friend. "See you." I say before ending the call. I drop the phone the grass beside me, taking in a deep breath. I can do this. It's going to be fine.