46• Can we talk?

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Can we talk?

"Home has two arms and a beating heart"
- Aliza Grace

"Home has two arms and a beating heart"  - Aliza Grace

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July
•1914•
Mariana's POV

"Hear me out" he tried
"No, I'm sick of the lies, I'm sick of you keeping things from me in an effort to protect yourself" I said
"That's not why I kept it from you" he said
"Yes it was, you knew if I found out I would see you the way I do now" I said

"Which is?" He asked
"A coward. Life gets tough and you go and bury your dick to run away from it" I said, shutting the door
"Mar" he shouted, banging on the door
"Mar please" he shouted, I left the back door, heading into the living room.

I was expecting Dorothy soon
And I didn't want him ruining her trip
I didn't want him anywhere near me at the moment
Hearing how much he wanted me, how much he liked me and then finding out he slept with another girl.

It hurt.

"And how did that make you feel?" Dot asked
"Dot I don't want to talk about him, I want to hear about you" I said
"And I want to hear about you" she said pointedly
I sighed
"He's the only man I've ever been with, I guess it just stings a little having to hear about him with other girls" I explained.

"Is that all?" She asked
"What do you mean?" I asked
"I mean, is it just that? Or does it also hurt because you still have feelings for him?" She asked
"Maybe both" I said defeated.

"Why don't you talk to him about it?" She suggested
"You know I'm not going to do that" I said
She thought for a moment
"Then write a letter" she suggested
"A letter?" I asked

"Yeah, you don't have to send it or anything just, write down all your feelings in a letter, as if you're actually talking to him. It might help, to get it all out" she explained

It wasn't a bad idea actually

"Anyway, have you heard?" She asked
"About what?" I asked
"The war, Austria Hungary have declared war on Serbia" she said
"Fuck" I said. I didn't see that one coming

"Yeah, they reckon there's going to be countries joining them" she said
"Well yes they'd have to" I said, trailing off

Maybe I should at least speak to him about what happened
After finding out about some girl he's picked up at a fair of all places, I was questioning everything
Maybe me and Tommy really did miss our time

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