My Boyfriend's Older Brother

Chapter Ten~ Distance

P E Y T O N

~SIX MONTHS LATER~

I woke up to my alarm blaring beside me. I merely turned it off and flopped back down. A painful throb shot through my heart and I closed my eyes taking several deep breaths. I was a shell of myself and I was numb. Broken beyond repair. A soft knock against the door made me open my eyes. Chase stood there looking at me with concern.

"Hey, I wanted to see if you were up yet."

"Unfortunately." I mumble, Chase had become my rock in all of this. He stayed by my side and for that I loved him. My brother and my best friend.

"I'll be down for breakfast in five." I whispered willing the pain to go away. The days that followed after the betrayal Jason magically had a black eye and a split lip, I didn't ask my brothers and they didn't tell me. He kept his distance and I pretended he didn't exist. But despite what happened I was still in love with him and it hurt that he didn't feel that way.

Mom didn't want to go back after what happened, she almost retired for me. I urged her to go telling her I would be ok in time. I think we both knew it was a lie. I'd never be okay ever again. I didn't have the energy to dress like a person and opted for a hoodie I stole from Chase and leggings.

A hushed conversation from the kitchen stopped when I entered; that's how it was most days. My brothers walked on eggshells around me and were careful not to mention Jason. I don't blame them, last time they mentioned him I had a breakdown so bad I didn't go to school for a week. Chase smiled and handed me a plate.

"Thanks." I picked at the food more than I actually ate it, I didn't have much of an appetite. I was bidding for time anyway; I had a plan. There wasn't much to live for anymore I desperately clung to Chase so I wouldn't do something stupid. My brothers knew that. Needless to say I wasn't alone often.

"Let's get to school." Chase said softly as if I'd shatter right there on the spot. I nod and start heading for the door.

"How long is this going to last?" Andrew whispered to Chase. I stopped just past the wall that separated living room from kitchen.

"I don't know." Chase responded.

"She needs to get over it already it's been six months." Andrew shot back. A deep dark hollow feeling seeped into my body.

"Don't be insensitive Andrew." Jax said gruffly. I didn't bother sticking around, without a word I walked out the door slamming it behind me. I started running away from my home, away from my brothers, away from the pain. I stopped when my muscles ached, then I shut off my phone. I knew they'd start looking for me eventually. I didn't care anymore what happened; I couldn't bring myself to care.

I wondered around the small town I ended up in until I found a cliff that dropped to a lake. It wasn't big but I liked the view. I wondered how long it would take my brothers to realize I wasn't at the school. I dangled my legs over the edge savoring the tingles from the height.

I laid down looking up at the sky, dark angry clouds filled the sky. A storm was brewing; I'd likely catch a cold if I stayed out too long. Andrew's words rang out through my head on repeat; I was miserable and he thought I should just get over it. He didn't know what it felt like to have your heart ripped out not once but twice and then tossed into a paper shredder.

Maybe I should leave, they wouldn't have to worry about me if I left. Andrew wouldn't have to walk on eggshells and Chase could live the rest of his senior year in peace. Maybe they'd forgive Jason and all would be righted. Maybe they'd be happy. I was drowning in myself, deep dark waves crashed down over me pulling me down.