And Then The Murders Began

Chapter Thirty-Nine: The Rhyme

"You know, I feel like you think that I hate you, and that's not true, I seriously dislike you and once this is over I would love it if you got sent to jail for the rest of your life, but I wouldn't want you to rot. There was a point in my life that I would have wanted that, but not anymore.... I've moved on, mostly, not completely I'll freely admit, but for the most part I have. You, on the other paw? You look like the hatred's already eaten you right away, Ms. T.... And I'm probably not one to judge, but it doesn't make any freaking sense. My father is dead, and my mother isn't going to be able to get out of there, you sent everyone who could've hurt you to jail. You realise that all of this is pointless now, right? You've got me and you're probably-"

The knife jabs just a little bit deeper into the back of my neck-

"Excuse me, definitely, you're definitely going to be able to get me to do what you want," I ramble, the words rushing out of my mouth like they want nothing to do with me, and quite honestly, given how they feel, how they sound coming out of there, I want nothing to do with all of them either.

Unfortunately, I may not get that option, if things keep going like this...

I need to get out of this jam but nothing's working and I have to be able to break her concentration on me, I have to derail her, and well, the therapy shit was doing pretty well for a while there, so I guess it wouldn't hurt all that much to just keep going with it, right?

Hey, ya don't know unless you try and anything worth trying's worth trying once...

Okay, here goes-

"So, ya know," I say, letting my arms hang loose by my side, "I just don't get it."

"What's there to get?" she responds, and okay, hook it slowly so that she doesn't realise at first-

"I mean, a lot of things, a good job, a stable life, and maybe even a marriage or something, but you seem like you've got a nice life, right, and a decently stable job. Not to worry, I'm just going to be cancelling the rest of my appointments with you, not snitching on you like that, so you've also got a stable job. What's missing?"

"Quite a lot..."

"Okay, so then tell me outright, it's not that hard-"

Wow, gaslight much Electra? You make me sick-

I don't want to and yeah I hate it but this is the only way that I'm going to be able to get anything out of her. Please, brain, I'd like to think that I know what I'm doing for once, even if I really don't and I don't need your constant interjections throwing me off by telling me that I really don't-

"Electra, maybe I didn't make it clear to you, I'm just as wrapped up in this as you are, so blaming me, trying the therapy shit? It's not going to work; don't you think that I would know all of the cliches and all of that?"

"Well, hey, maybe they're cliches," I retort, thankful that the knife hasn't moved any further into the back of my neck, "but there's still quite a few grains of truth buried in there. You're trying to get back at them, but why? It's not going to work... What I really want to know is what's all of this about, really? You don't want to tell me, fine, you don't have to, but let's dig in, shall we?"

"Let's not," she says, deadpan, and alright, this is annoying, I've gotta work harder-

"In all seriousness, I want to know, Ms. T, I'm not just trying to mess with ya- what planted that seed of hatred and anger in your head? And what watered that seed enough so that it sprouted? And why did it get allowed to grow? What were you going through in your life to be able to lend that thing enough fuel so that it could not only have survived but thrived and grown into not only just one tree but a whole freaking forest? It's not a tiny forest of huge trees of hatred in there, is it?"