And Then The Murders Began

Chapter Thirty-Three: Needle in the Bad Wolf

My eyes snap open and I'm wearing a fresh jumpsuit, orange and everything, prisoner number two four six oh one, how freaking poetic... and of course, I'm cuffed, but this time instead of just silver shackles on my paws, I have huge bolt shackles on my legs and actual cuffs on my arms, this is bad, this is bad, how did I sleep all the way through getting brought here? Have I been out of it for long enough that I missed getting brought here and everything? Where am I? Oh gods I'm on trial aren't I? What am I on trial for, this is bad-

-I can still taste the blood in my mouth and when I look down my paws are sopping wet with blood and it's soaking through the uniform and they didn't shave me this time, this time I still have all my fur but I can feel a shock collar around my neck too and I'm scared, I thought I just fell asleep and they dragged me here while I was sleeping? No no no no no no this is bad this is bad this is very very bad I can still taste the blood in my mouth and oh my gods I killed him didn't I? I killed him and then if my stomach isn't lying to me I freaking ate a huge chunk of him... bleah, gross, I wanna die, please, if this is going to be the end for me then at least let them put me out with a bang, I'll plead guilty... I did it, I took the Lindbergh baby, my name is Joseph Mengele, owieeee...

If that's what it comes down to, if this court finds me guilty, then that's what they do, and I'll face the music... if only it were '80s rock, but whatever tune gets played is what gets played...

I look up next to me, and there's a man there, a human, and I can't remember when I've met him before- no I just met him this morning I think, before the trial and I was so scared that I passed out and they've been waiting on me... gods, that's not going to make me look any better here, is it? I can already feel that this isn't entirely going to be fair, is it? But do I deserve fairness, no I can't say that I do, I can literally feel Miguel inside my guts, oh gods I want to throw it all up but no I gotta hold it in and maybe ask for another recess after- what comes first in a trial, nobody's ever told me, magistrates, bailiffs, I know the words but the way to go about all of it... it's just completely escaping me right now... this is bad... this is no, this isn't bad, this is fucking awful and I deserve it... if only there were a way to give the rest of my life to someone, if someone dies early then someone else gets the rest of those years that that person would have lived tacked onto their own... Lylah would get them, she deserves to go and live those four hundred years and then give her mine, she should have been Methuselah... Meowthuselah... she had almost that long still left ahead of her, there should have been seven hundred more years of her at the very least, at an absolute freaking minimum, she should've... and well, now I'm about to lose mine, I think, and I deserve it.

"Are you and your client ready to proceed?" the judge, magistrate, whatever she is, says, peering down at me from the stand with a look of the strongest contempt I've ever seen on a person.

"One second, your honour," my lawyer says, and I can see the pupils of the judge's eyes shrink as they roll; she's sick of us already and we haven't even gotten through opening statements; dammit I'm fucked... but I deserve it, if this performance here is what ultimately causes the judge to condemn me to death, I hope that they stick that fucking needle of barbituates right in my heart so I die here of cardiac arrest, right on the floor... and then maybe they can get the justice that's available to them... my death right now won't be true justice, I know that, but if only this were all a dream then maybe I could just wake up... but I'm slapping myself and I'm not waking up, I can't... because this isn't a dream, this is real and I'm going to die today...

"Miss Stehlen-Wilde, how do you wish to plead?" my lawyer asks, and I nod and smile as best as I can as I whisper 'guilty' to him, and he nods. "I can't say you have much better by way of options, miss," he whispers back and I nod. I thought so, I'm gonna get this over with,

"Well, we've been waiting long enough," the judge says, tapping their fingers on the top of the bench, "are you going to tell us, Counsellor, what your client's decision on how their plea stands shall be? Or am I going to have to hold the both of you in contempt of court? Please don't dare think that I won't, I hold those people who come into my courtroom to the highest standard under Her Majesty's laws.... Get the hell on with it." With that, she sits back, and my lawyer gets up, sighs, and dusts himself off.

"The People of Canada v. Electra Stehlen-Wilde is now in session, Counsellor, how does your client wish to plead?" the judge asks, even more coldly now than they were earlier and well, if this is what it takes, this is what it takes... fine, so fry me.

"Guilty, Your Honour," my lawyer says, and the judge nods.

"Very well, in that case, the jury is dismissed; opposing counsel you are as well; however, given that you represent the state in today's matter, should you choose to advise Ms. Stehlen-Wilde here as to her options then you may do so."

That's not the way things are supposed to work here, right, that's not how things work... what's with this judge? It's almost like this is a scene out of a drug-induced dream or something, I can't be really here, am I? Pinch me I've gotta be dreaming-

And I'm pinching myself and still nothing's happening, I just feel pain, pain pain pain pain... nothing that's waking me up because I'm not dreaming, am I? This is real... this is the consequence of diving into this world.

The opposing counsellor says nothing, just sits and waits, deferring to the judge, and they nod. "Very well. Miss Stehlen-Wilde-"

Mx., please, not a woman, not a man, just me, just a wolf, a wolf who is about to die but fuck the binary while we're at it... okay please and thank you! This really shouldn't be too much to ask-

"You have been charged with a: two counts of aggravated assault, b: two counts of attempted murder, and c: one count of murder in the first degree, to reiterate you plead guilty to these charges?"

"Yes," I say, trying to stay calm, knowing that within less than five minutes the needle will have done me in, my heart having been drugged to sleep. Fine, if that's how it's gonna be, then that's what I'll accept-

"In that case, may God have mercy on your soul, this court finds you guilty on all counts. The punishment is death, to be carried out immediately by the administration of a lethal dosage of phenobarbital and potassium chloride. Bailiff, please escort the prisoner to a chair..."

My heart is thumping, probably trying to get a few last good beats in before it stops for good, damn, both pheno and potassium chloride, one would do it, they're just trying to get me deader...

Whatever does it quicker I guess, not like this life is worth much anyways...

They haul me to a chair, and damn they really must kill a lot of people in here...

...strap me down...

Goodbye...

Needle, pain, chest-