And Then The Murders Began

Chapter Thirty: Somewhere In the Middle of Nowhere

Just about an hour later I'm riding down a road that I have no idea where it leads to, for all I know it could be Kentucky Route Zero, something that really only exists in the minds of the people who are obsessed over it, and I'm not bound and cuffed, so that's definitely a plus, and a significant improvement over the last time that I was in a car with bars over tinted windows and I didn't know where I was going.

If I had a nickel for every time that I've been in a car with tinted windows that then were reinforced in the inside with bars and I was going to locations unknown, I'd have two nickels, which isn't a lot, but it's seriously weird that it's happened twice. I don't know whether that says more about my tendency to get myself into messes, or whether it's just the way that the road of life that I'm living is going.

Folks say that life is a highway, and well, I'm certainly gonna ride this one all night long, seeing as how the second option would be to speak out against the people who're transporting me to places as of yet unknown and probably getting myself blasted in the head.

Also, just a question for those people who say that life is indeed a highway, how big are we talking here? Small country highway like in Barre, where my cousins live, across the national border in Vermont, or something bigger, like I-95 through Maine, like where my friends from primary school all ended up moving and I could never afford to go down and see them because the car was always breaking down, and given the situation between Earth and Jerenteka, gas prices were insane...

I mean, they still are, but they've gotten better (that doesn't stop the 'I Did That' stickers with pictures of Trudeau on them from still getting plastered all over every single freaking petrol pump- no wait, it's a gas pump, I can't remember which terms to use most times) but anyways anyways anyways, my life, well, it's not the DC Beltway size highway, if anything I feel like I'm going to be pretty freaking lucky if I get more than a beaten track through the dirt... or maybe I'm being pessimistic, I mean, freaking hell, it's not that horrible, and well, if know Miguel he's having me brought back to Fundy, where he can have me brought back into the auditorium and run me through the gamut all over again...

And you know what, that'll be complete and totally and utterly fine and it will be fine, it will be fine, it's all gonna be perfectly freaking fine it's fine it's fine it's fine-

Fucking hell who am I trying to kid here? Cuz I'm absolutely not kidding anyone, least of all myself, and if I can't even kid myself, then who the fuck would I be expecting to kid otherwise?

The simple answer is that I really couldn't kid anyone, and yeah I'm all too well aware of that.

So yeah, on that topic, one of my biggest freaking pet peeves is when someone goes and says, yeah good luck everyone, we're all in this together, we're all in the same boat on this one, we're in the same boat, we're in the same boat, we're in the same boat, and in my head, never out loud because I know that everyone already thinks that I'm really kinda strange and I don't need to be getting my sorry ass into any more trouble than I'm already in, I've been saying, no we're not, no we're not, no we're really freaking not, we're not in the same boat, some people have yachts while some of us have little Sunfish sailboats and then still even more people just have rafts and some people are just clinging to boards, hoping to hang on for dear life... so no, we're not all in the same boat, we're all in the same storm... and even then, some people have drifted far out to sea, shoved along by the winds at their backs, and some of us have had our boats flipped and some of our boats that were really only scraps of debris cast off by all of the others are barely managing to get along.

And then people wonder why your teachers always taught you to sink or swim, sink or swim, drown or ride atop the waves, as if it were really that easy. Most people, I've come to learn- and I'm trying to avoid being overly generalistic here because I've always hated it when people would be overly generalistic about me, she's x therefore she must be y kinda thing, like, oh hey, Electra's bi therefore she must be a slut, or even, Miguel's a hyena therefore he must have the greatest sense of humour ever ha ha ha ha ha...