butterflies. | Ashtray X Fem

43.|fake apologies.

43.|fake apologies.

i hadn't slept, i couldn't sleep, so i sat by the bed holding his hand due to him passing out again.whatever happened to him really got him bad. his eyes slowly opened and i lifted off the chair getting closer to him cupping his face.

"fuck." he groaned as he tried to get up.

"you- you can't do that yet." i place my hand on his chest making sure he stays down i didn't want him getting anymore hurt then he already is, today we had to catch a flight home.

"do the doctors know what happened?" ashtray asked weakly, you could hear the pain in his voice.

"they're hoping you do." i smile at him faintly.

"yeah, yeah i do." ashtray nods slowly. that's when i had faith, if they knew what happened to ash they'd probably be able to tell us what his healing process will look like.

"what happened baby tell me." i quickly sit back down still holding his hand this time he had been holding it back.

"i was just crossing the street to head into sydneys place." he had been looking me in the eye. who the fuck is sydney?

"sydney..?" i wanted to make it a big deal but i couldn't.

"yeah it's this club that one of my boys work at." ashtray nods and stares at me seeming confused, he knew exactly what i had thought of.i just nodded wanting him to continue.

"when i was crossing this black car sped by and hit me, some guys came over but then i woke up here." ashtray seemed lost, like he didnt really believe himself that this is  what had happened.

"thank god you know." i sigh relieved.

"caye i am so fucking sorry." ashtray let go of my hand.

"for what." i didn't even try to reach for it again, i knew what he was talking about.

"for treating you the way i did before i left, i don't know what got into me but i didnt mean that shit." ashtray seemed sorry but i couldn't believe it.

"i mean you said it so." i shrugged.

"ma, i love you with everything in me, your my world literally, i wouldn't be doing this shit with you if you weren't, and i let things escalate i said that shit out of anger, sober or not." ashtray really was trying but it wasn't getting anywhere.

"yea, well the shit you said isn't just forgiveable." i didn't know how to put this, i didn't want to make a seen.

"i know it isn't but im telling you i love you ma, i do." ashtray hadn't been looking at me anymore and i knew there was more too it.

"im not just going to forgive you, we have other things to focus on, like how your literally in the hospital." i didn't want to get into this and i was hoping he'd drop it, but who am i kidding it's fucking ashtray.

" please ma, i can't just stop thinking about it, i need you to forgive me."

"forgive you? you can't force it out of me so please can we just move on!"

"please ma."

"ashtray i said i fucking can't so take the answer and just focus on healing, we will worry about us once you get better."

"caye, we aren't ever going to be better okay? i tried to make this process fucking easier but your being so difficult goddamn it, sydneys just isn't a club, it has a fucking v.i.p fucking room and my boy was the host and he invited me. i went on in and let a bitch give me some stuff." i stared at him in shock, so that's why he was gone for so long. he wasn't even concerned about losing me because he knew he could get bitches.

"ill see you back at home." i grab my phone and slide on my shoes.

"caye please don't fucking leave me." ashtray tried getting out of bed but was stop by the pain. i ran out the room heading for the hospitals exit the tears building into my eyes, i had to get home, now.

*time skip to her getting into fez's car as he picked her up at the airport.*

"kid, ashtray fucking ghosted me for 2 days where he at?" fez looked back at me as i got in the backseat with my suitcase.

"some serious shit happened down there." i mumbled.

"the fuck you mean?" fez seemed anxious.

"i left him at the hospital fez." i shrugged it off, i didn't feel bad about it either.

"what the fuck? why the fuck is he in the hospital caye?" fez had now been raising his voice. id never seen him like this.

"he got into a brutal ass accident, and while i was there with him he admitted that he fucking cheated on me." of course i was calm about this.

"you fucking what? you left my brother basically dying in the hospital? that's some fucked up shit." fez was panicing.

"he has a flight home, he should be here soon, the hospital called me." i shrugged it off once again. i couldn't and shouldn't care.

"im sorry caye but that shit is beyond fucked up, you fucked with my family bruh, you gotta get the fuck outta my crib for real dawg." fez began driving away and that shit hurt. but i understood and i didn't want to be there with ashtray either. i was gonna pack my shit and leave to maddy's.

*time skip.*

fez had just dropped me off in front of maddy's i managed to get plenty of shoes and clothes into my suitcase but fez said if i ever need more to stop by his place and pick it up.

"im sorry caye. but this is a no go for real now, i provided as much as i could in the honor of custer bruh n my live for you but you've pushed it way to far." fez removed the blunt from his lips as i opened the car door.

"thanks." i said bluntly before opening the gate to maddy's house. this is one way to start this month.

A/N: let's thank Raiders1964 again for this wonderful idea, you keep saying me bruh, and ily for it, but jus to give you guys a heads up, butterflies is ending very very soon.