20.|depression? check.

3.1K 31 53
                                    

20.| depression? check.

word count: 1030.

i don't know but at some point last night before lexi got back i passed out on the couch.

"morning kid." fez yelled as he walked into the room, i was half asleep and sitting there directing lexi how to place my stuff into a extra dresser she had.

"hi." i yawn.

"caye, there's a bag full of you hygiene stuff on the bathroom sink." lexi panted as she had been folding my clothes. no, i didn't force her to do this she did it with her own free will. i got off the couch and lexi left some comfortable clothes for me to get on the side of the bed. i grabbed them and headed for the bathroom. once i did i looked in the mirror and jesus.. i look hideous. im pale and have pours all over my face. my hairs a mess and my clothes are soaked with sweat. i sighed heavily and just began brushing my teeth. im not the insecure type why did i just say that about myself? once i finish brushing my teeth i put my hair into a wet neat bun and slide my clothes on as i try taking a hit from my vape.

 im not the insecure type why did i just say that about myself? once i finish brushing my teeth i put my hair into a wet neat bun and slide my clothes on as i try taking a hit from my vape

Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.

your fit n stuff^^^

i got out the bathroom and fez was helping lexi place my things away. and perfect timing cassie walked in. in a hoodie. a very big man like hoodie. hmmph.

"uh lexi who is she?" cassie looks at me from her side of the room.

"she's fez's family, she needs somewhere to stay." lexi stands nice and tall facing cassie.

"and why can't she stay with her fucking family?" cassie sits down on her bed. gonna throw a bitch fit?

"can you just shut up for once cassie?!" lexi questions in a harsher but quieter tone.

"no no lexi it's okay." i look at cassie and begin walking towards her.

"well let's just say cassie, the sixteen year old you sucked off like two days ago, was my boyfriend, who.. is.." i smirk. she's about to be eighteen that's sick.

"ash." fez looks at me.

"ashtray? what- no- what there's no way he is sixthteen and there's no way.. he told me he didn't have a girlfriend!" cassie was now turning red.

"what the fuck,my brother bro." fez begins walking for the door.

"fez wait." lexi yelled chasing him. they'll be okay. let me handle this bitch.

"that's fucking disgusting cassie." i look her up and down.

"wait, please im sorry." cassie pleads crying.

"sorry isn't going to fix the fact he did it and continues doing it." i sighed getting mad. imma handle this the quiet way. because i will seriously kill this bitch with my bare ass hands.

"i know fuck! ill just leave." cassie runs out the room crying. i giggle and jump onto the couch opening my phone.

messages.

me- hey, some crazy shit is going on, i officially moved in with lexi and cassie and she just came in and left once i handled her of course.

maddy- wait- ur living with my ex bsf?

me- bitch stop i don't fucking like her.

maddy- that's real fake of u.

me- maddy.

maddy- bitch im joking!!! i get it babes. ily.

me- awn maddy. lyttt.

maddy- there's a party i was invited to at mckays house tn. up for it?

me- mckay= troy. sure.

maddy- cute babes. byee.
seen.

lexi and fez came back in, im so glad i didn't ruin that because i probably wouldn't forgive myself. i just open tiktok and scroll through for a bit out of boredom. my phone's so dry sometimes i really do think no one cares about me. fez and lexi finished putting in the last bit of clothes and just collapse on lexi's bed at the same time. their so cute and i really hope to be like them one day.

"caye, why didn't you tell me you and ash we're a thing?" fez asks looking at me. i turn off my phone and look at him.

"we weren't. i just had to make her feel guilty some how." i look at him. we were nearly there fez.. so close..

"don't you think that eighteen and sixteen would've done it?" lexi asked looking over. i take hit of my vape and chose to stay quiet. because what the fuck... their attacking me like i did something so fucking wrong. rue messages me.

messages.

rue- wsp.

me- hi.

rue - hyb.

me- fine, u?

rue- hanging in there. me and jules are going to go hang out at this orange field. wanna come?

me- im good thx. enjoy it tho.

rue- oh come on itll be fun.

me- rue..

rue- yeah ur coming.

me- no ruby.

rue - fuck you. omw.

me- rue don't be a bitch. i don't want to go.
read.

i dont want to go any where. im not even gonna go to the party even though troy could really help me get shit off my mind.. but what's the fun of parties when ashtray is going to be there with bitches and it's going to make my blood boil.

"hey just going to steal her." rue appears next to me and yanks me off the couch.

" lexi please no." i beg lexi leaning forward not wanting rue to take me.

"byee caye." lexi teasingly waves bye with her little red painted finger nails.

"UGHHH." i groan as rue drags me down the stairs and out the door. jules waits there on her bike. rue hops on her own bike.

"hop on sexy mama." rue jokingly says in a deeper voice.

"i genuinely hate you." i hop on the back and hold onto her shoulder.

"yea, yea love you more." rue and jules began peddling. for some strange reason... i loved the way rue pushed me to get out of bed. it's like she understands. really really understands.

A/N: i find this chapter so relatable... i need a friend like rue... TAKING APPLICATION'S. i need the motivation to get out of bed everyday sooo rue wyaaa?? ily guys. rmb that. and also rmb your beautiful. i truly mean that xoxo- j.

butterflies. | Ashtray X FemWhere stories live. Discover now