Chapter 19

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Cassie strolled into her first day as a T.A with a smile on her face. She was an hour early, but had planned to get coffee. She first went into the lecture hall and tossed her bag down in his office, since that's where she'll be half the time.

When she did that though, she noticed his desk was incredibly disorganized. He didn't have filing cabinets, but storage container tubs. Somehow, she doesn't think this was his ideal work environment, but a temporary fix for not having cabinets.

Luckily for him, she loves to organize. That will be her job anyways, but there was no harm in getting a head start. She only meant to pick up a few papers and find a place to at least start organizing them. She ended getting so caught up in it, she was there the entire hour.

Everything was as organized as she could get it for the moment when the door opened. Ben looked up and stopped in his tracks when he saw her. He let out a giant sigh through his nose, then turned to his desk.

He stopped once again from seeing how clean it was. He pointed to it with a curious look. "Did you...?"

She nodded as she told him, "Cleaned your nasty desk and organized the majority of your papers. It's difficult without filing cabinets, though. You should really invest in some."

He continued to stay glued to the same spot as he kept staring at the clean desk. "They're back ordered. Why?"

She shrugged. "Figured I'd make my job easier. You know as your T.A and all."

His eyes snapped back to her's. "I'm sorry?" He asked. "T.A? I never said you could be my T.A. For God's sakes, I never even interviewed you!"

She went up to him and handed over the transfer slip. It was signed by the counselor and the Dean. He crumpled it up and threw it in the trash. "You did this on purpose," he growled. "You saw the flyers I was going to send out, didn't you?"

Again, she shrugged. "Don't know what you're talking about, Professor."

He closed his eyes and let out a deep breath. "Please stop," he begged. His mind kept going back to their first wild night together. The way she says it will never be the same again.

"Whatever you say, Mister Cumberbatch." He narrowed his eyes at her. They could hear the students starting to file inside the hall. "I'll be out there taking attendance if you need me."

She moved past him and out into the lecture hall.

During the class, she did plan on staying in the office the entire time, but she liked the idea that he was forced to look at her nearly all the time if she was at her little T.A desk next to his. He would occasionally ask her to do something, but never looked her in the eye as he spoke.

When class ended, she went into the office and lounged on his chair until he came in.

"Please get up," he calmly, but sternly said. She did as he asked and took a seat in the more uncomfortable chair across from his desk. She started to pick through some of the storage containers of papers to organize them.

"Geez, it's only been three weeks," she commented.

Ben sat back in his chair and watched her dig through the papers. "They're not mine, they're Mr. Parks' from past years. I was trying to see if he kept any of your papers."

She gave him a double take. "You...you're digging through years of old homework assignments for me?"

He reached over and grabbed a stack of the papers from her hands. He sat back and put on his glasses. He looked at her over the rims.

God she wanted to jump him.

"For you to get out of my class," he told her. "Although there's no point now, is there? You're my bloody T.A apparently."

She watched him as he sifted through the papers. "You aren't going to purposely fail me, are you?"

He shifted his eyes to her. "Why would I do that?" He asked. "Because we connected in the most beautiful way in Mexico, then I had to go and cock it up, leaving you to act completely rational about it? I fucked up, Cassie. I wouldn't do it again by playing with your career. Just do the work the best you can and I will grade you accordingly."

He moved his eyes back to the papers.

This certainly made her think this plan was just a little stupid. Regardless, she picked up her own stack of papers and started looking through them. The more she pondered a question that was coming into her head, the slower she looked.

"So you're not upset with me, then?" She asked.

He once again, drifted his eyes over to her. "I am upset with you, actually. I thought I really got to know you, but it turns out you were just playing me."

She shook her head as she told him, "I only lied about being a freelancer in New York. Everything else I told you was real. Sure, I had to make up a few things like in which part of the city I lived, but everything else was true. I didn't do it to just you, I do it to every guy I meet."

That got him to roll his eyes. "Great," he mumbled.

Sighing in annoyance, she told him, "Fine, think of it as a survival tactic for women. I don't want to tell some guy I just met where I go to school! As a matter of fact, I would have told you. The morning you left, I was planning on..."

She quickly stopped herself, then went back to digging through the papers to distract her thoughts. Ben was set on hearing what she had to say.

"What were you planning?" He asked. "To tell me the truth?"

"Yes!" She practically shouted through tears. "Fuck, Ben, I was going to tell you I was a graduate student. I was also going to tell you...that I wanted this to work."

Ben sat up a little straighter. His face fell into a subtle awe.

She continued, "I liked you. I liked you so much, I couldn't believe it. It was only three days, not even that! But I felt something so strong between us. I woke up that morning, rolled over in bed to tell you...and you were gone."

His face fell as she spoke.

"Remember when you asked me who Dylan was?" She asked through tears. "He was the last guy who got my hopes up and broke my heart. I don't blame him and I don't blame you, not fully anyways. I've dated shitty guys my whole life and the moment one shows me they're fucking decent..."

She choked on her tears. Ben flexed his hand to reach out for her, but resisted the urge.

"You could have at least woken me up," she whispered, "said goodbye."

He leaned forward as he shrugged, "I told you I'm not much for goodbyes."

She snapped her head up at him and found him smirking. She couldn't help the smile that inched up. "You're an ass," she chuckled. "Actually, here." She dug into her bag, pulled out her wallet, then slammed a piece of paper down on in front of him.

He immediately recognized it. "You kept it. Why?"

"It was my only reminder that you were real," she said. "I tried so many times to throw it away or burn it, but I was afraid you would go along with it."

He put his hand over the note, then gradually picked it up and opened it. His eyes scanned over it, but he could barely stand to read it. Guilt washed over him like mad.

"If I..." He was struggling to say what he needed to. "If I had...I left you the room." He kicked himself, as that is not what he wanted to say.

Cassie scoffed. "Oh, right. Thanks. Your money went to waste, by the way. Like I would have stayed there." She went back to trying to distract herself with the papers. After a few minutes, she threw them down, then stood up.

"Forget it," she announced. She picked up her bag and flung it over her shoulder. "I'll take your class, I don't care, as long as you don't screw me over. I'll see you on Monday."

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