All My Fault

Hoodie Boy

Do I look weak or something?
Probably. I am weak.
I let this happen to me.

***

-9:04pm-

"Joon?" "Joon wake up, it's 9:00."

I stur out of my sleep and study the room until my eyes find Mrs.Jisoo's. "Thank you for waking me up Mrs.Jisoo, I'll head home now". I say with a smile, standing up from my thin mattress in the corner of the storage room. I grab my things and head to the door.

"Joon?" I turn to face a predictably worried Mrs.Jisoo. "Take care of yourself". My knees hitch.

What is up with everyone today?

"I will, I promise" I smile again and head out of the room, down the hallways to the bus stop.

***

-9:35pm-

After walking for nearly thirty minutes I arrive to my dreaded home in the suburbs of England. That is if you can even call it a home. I let out a sigh of relief once I notice the lights are off in the house.

He must be asleep.

I approach my bedroom and slowly raise my window, being extra careful not to make any noise. I climb in and shut my window back. Changing into my night clothes and laying in bed. I stare out of my window at the moonlight shining in.

Maybe one day it'll all be better.

I hear a creak from behind me and a beam of light slowly fills my room. I quickly shut my eyes and my heart rate rapidly increases.

Fuck, this piece of shit isn't asleep?

I hear footsteps approach me from behind and the stench of alcohol invades my senses. I try to keep my breathing steady to ease any of his suspicions. I feel his hand gently rest on my ankle.

No, please no.
Not again please.
I'll do anything please.

His hand drags up the side of my body. Dipping into my curves, traveling up to cradle my chin. I try to keep myself from shaking.

Go away
Please just go away!

He stands for a few more seconds before walking away. Shutting my door and leaving. But the stain of his touch remains.

It burns.
It fucking burns.

I immediately start to cry and begin scratching at my skin. The flesh between my nails already scarred and sore from the hundreds of times i've done this.

Get off of me, get off!

My hushed cries continue as my tears soak my pillow. I turn to scream into the silk fabric, but my muffled cries are heard by no one.

No one.

I have no one.

***

Wednesday
-9:34pm-

My alarm blasts through my eardrums. I blindly feel around the bed for my phone to turn it off. After successfully doing so, I get out of bed to pick out my attire for the day. An oversized black hoodie and a pair of black sweat pants. I make my way out of my room and to the single bathroom across the house, not expecting to see my Uncle standing at the island in the kitchen.

Why is he still here.

I try to ignore him and hide my terrified expression.

Isn't he supposed to be at work?

"Good morning Joonie." I try to ignore him and keep walking. I make it to the bathroom and as I go to turn the door knob I feel a tug at my shoulder. Before I know it I'm turned around and slammed against the door. I let out a painful groan.

"Aw my poor little Joonie. Ignoring me again? You know what happens when you ignore me. " As he steps closer I can feel his hot breath against my neck.

Is he drinking this early in the morning?

"Please just leave me alone. I need to shower." I try to turn around but he holds me in place.

"Got somewhere to be? What, do you have a girlfriend now or something?" I don't respond. Hoping he'll stop interrogating me and just leave. But of course i'm not that lucky.

He grabs my chin, slamming my head against the door. I try to suppress my whimpers. Crying always makes it last longer.

Whatever you do just don't cry.

"No answer? I asked you a goddamn question Joonie!! You belong to me! Your body belongs to me goddamn it!" He grabs my arms and throws me to the ground. "Who the fuck is she?!" He crawls over me, his face inches from my own.

"I don't have one, please, get off." I try to squirm away but he pins me down by my neck. Tears begin to fill my vision as his grip tightens.

No Joon don't cry, not now.

"So you're lying to me now?!" I feel his fist come in contact with my left cheek. My eyes have given up on holding back tears. I plead for him to stop.

"Please, please no I promise I'm not lying. Please." He ignores my cries. Wearing that stupid grin of his.

Please stop no not this early.
Please let me go.

His grip on my neck tightens more. He leans down to my ear and whispers with his gruff voice. "You belong to me."

He stands up, grabbing his suitcase and heading out the door. But not before turning to me to spit two more words.

"You're pathetic."

Once the beautiful sound of the front door locking fills the room I curl up into a ball on the floor and cry. The familiar burning sensation rising from underneath my skin.

How pathetic.

///

Hello my beautiful people ☺️

You may have noticed the lack of music going on in this story despite me mentioning the music in the disclosures...

BUT I promise those chapters are coming.

I was going to merge a few of these chapters together so we could get to those chapters quicker and also because my chapters are VERY uneven 🫠

But when I do merge chapters I have to delete the original and my phone has been deleting chapters that I DON'T select to delete instead of the chapters I do select to delete 😀

So instead of taking the chance of loosing entire chapters that I spent half a year writing we will continue to have
✨uneven chapters ✨

I also wanted to stop in to say I love you 💗

Updates on my Twitter!!

👋