Everything Is Just Fine

Chapter 20

The first week of November comes and goes. I have another Dark Episode around the time of my mom's birthday, but I feel optimistic that it only lasts two days. Toby spends those two days worrying and talking on the phone with Nana. I don't even know when they exchanged numbers.

After I get over myself, The crew and I go on a friend date to a pizza place and a movie. Abel and I hold hands the entire time, and I very much enjoy his hand on my thigh as we sit in the dark theater.

The next weekend, we're all sitting in the stands of one of Westbrook's gyms, cheering for Toby at his first game of the basketball season against the Black Ivy University Reapers.

Here's the thing, I don't know shit about basketball. In fact, I'm wearing my headphones and blasting music, because this loud, stinky, too bright gym is giving me a headache. But Toby is my friend, and though some of us don't like loud, stinky, too bright gyms, I would go through hell if it was for one of my friends. Plus, Toby looks way too good in his Westbrook Hawks uniform.

I'm squished between Abel and Shelby on the uncomfortable bleachers. Shelby is holding her phone up so Madison can see the court. They're all cheering wildly.

"Never took you for a sportie," I tell Shelby when she calms down enough to sit.

She glances at me. Her cheeks are painted in the Westbrook colors: navy blue and yellow. "Sportie? I don't think that's PC, Jesse Lancaster."

I shrug. "I couldn't think of the word."

She rolls her eyes at me. "Your number fourteen is peeling off."

Sure enough, when I reach up, blue paint flecks off my cheek.

Toby had painted his jersey number on my cheek before leaving that morning.

"So everyone knows who you're rooting for," he had said.

"They'll know," I had retorted. "We're roommates, dumbass, otherwise I would never be caught dead in a gym."

He had laughed and called me an asshole.

Around me, people go into a frenzy as one of Toby's teammates makes a basket.

Eventually, I begin to see the appeal of organized sports. I join in on the cheering whenever our school has the ball or makes a basket. I still have no idea what's going on, but I cheer hard and loud when Toby makes the final basket that wins the game.

The team hosts him into the air, and there's this big, dopey, proud smile on his face that makes me feel all warm and fluttery inside.

★ ★ ★ ★

The next weekend, I leave my shift at Wendell's and head down to Plainsburg on my own. I find the car too quiet without my friends around. I kick on the radio and blast my playlist. The first song that comes on is a hip-hop song Toby had snuck on there when I wasn't looking. I haven't removed it, even though I keep telling him I have. It's the song that was playing at the first party we went to together.

I get to Nana's at midnight. Even though it's late, she's still standing outside her condo in her pajamas and robe.

"Nana!" I exclaim when I exit the car. "It's dangerous to be out by yourself this late!"

"Oh, hush up, Jesse," she answers, wrapping me in a hug. "I'll kick anyone's ass who tries to attack me."

"I have no doubts, Nan."

We go inside, but don't stay up talking like usual. I'm tired from my shift and driving and smell a little like fried dough. Nana's tired from her afternoon with Peggy, her frenemy.