I Know What Sin Is

Chapter 1

"We're just friends," I snapped. "What's it to you?"

"Ah, just friends." He gave me a knowing smile. "It's complicated, isn't it?"

"No, it's not, actually." I let out a little huff and glared up at him. His smile infuriated me. As if I needed any further humiliation. Good job, Ben, I thought. You let this maniac terrify you and make a fool out of you. Now he's going to bully you every day for the rest of eternity. "If you'll excuse me," I said. "I'll be heading to the housing office now. To tell them how you assaulted me and I need a room change."

"Oh, for-" He scrubbed a hand over his face. "First of all, you assaulted me. Second of all, do you really want to switch to a room with two, maybe three other roommates? Who will probably drag you off to some hazing ritual before you can open up that ugly old suitcase of yours?" He wrinkled his nose. "Jesus. Is that thing from the 1930's?"

I said nothing and rolled onto my side. He had a point about the multiple roommates. Maybe I could learn to live with this guy for a year. If we didn't kill each other before then.

I groped the sheets for my phone. I needed to text Sarah back before she called the police and reported me missing, for Chrissakes. Oh, shit. I turned back over just in time to see that psychopath holding up my phone across the room.

"Don't you dare," I breathed.

"What have we here?" he murmured casually. "Seven texts from Sarah, white-heart-emoji, teddy-bear-emoji. Sarah, is that your little friend? Sarah the Smurf?"

I jumped to my feet. "Put it down or I'll fucking murder you."

"Hmm. Wonder what your password is." He clicked the home button. "Let's try S-A-R-"

That was when I tackled him. I wasn't exactly built like a linebacker but I had the element of surprise in my favor. I pounced on him like a cat, making a wild grab for his hand as we both fell onto the bed.

We wrestled for a minute, him laughing and me snarling in frustration, until I managed to knock the phone from his hand. I made a lunge for it but he pinned me on my back and held my arms down.

"Fuck off!" I shouted, still kicking at him.

"Expressive, aren't we?" he teased.

I struggled under his weight - Jesus, he must have been at least seventy pounds heavier - while he smiled down at me with that fucking wolf's grin. Like I was some little animal caught in his trap.

"Relax," he said, his voice calmer now. Deeper. "I'll let you go if you stop fighting." He kept my wrists pinned on either side of me and did a subtle scan of my body, stretched out beneath him. I felt my cheeks grow warm. He was a complete stranger, and a fucking weirdo at that, but something about this felt different. Thrilling. Erotic.

If his hips dipped just an inch lower, he would be grinding on me.

What the fuck? I internally cursed myself. Where were these weird perverted thoughts coming from? I'd been watching too much porn lately.

All at once, the weight on me lifted. He sat up, leaving me panting in his sheets. "See?" he chuckled. "I think we'll get along just fine."

I reached for my phone without a word. There were now nine missed texts from Sarah. I clicked the side button to lock my phone and looked up at him. My roommate. The guy I was stuck living with for a year. The guy I had just imagined rubbing his dick on me. Jesus Christ, get it together.

"So," I mumbled. "I still don't know your name."

He smirked. "Don't worry, I've gone a lot further with people and never got their names."

My face fell to a scowl. What did that even mean? "I'm Ben," I said.

"Dover," he said.

"Um, Dalton, actually." My eyebrows threaded together. "You know what, close enough. Just call me Ben."

"Is that short for Benjamin?" he asked.

I narrowed my eyes. "Um, yeah. But... no one calls me that except my mom." Or at least she did, while she was still alive. I swallowed harshly before a lump could form in my throat.

He raised an amused eyebrow. "I think I'll call you Benjamin," he decided. "Or Ben Dover. Whatever suits the mood."

I grit my teeth to keep myself from shouting more profanities at him. "And you are...?" I asked.

"Michael D'Angelo, at your service, sir."

I snorted. "Like Michelangelo?"

He blinked at me. "No. Like Michael D'Angelo, you idiot. Emphasis on the D."

I rolled my eyes and unlocked my phone on my way back to my bed. Apparently, Sarah was convinced I'd gotten murdered by the psychotic drunk guy. I fought off the urge to reply, well... almost, just to mess with her.

Me: i'm fine. he's just annoying af. not a serial killer

Sarah 🤍🧸: 😂😂😂

Sarah 🤍🧸: Glad ur settling in. Hey u should come meet my roomie Maria... She's single 😉

Me: not rlly my biggest priority rn, sar.

Sarah 🤍🧸: Ugh!! We need to find you a gf and me a bf so we can go on double dates!!! 😂

I threw my phone to the side and flopped onto my back on the hard mattress. Chances were, Sarah wasn't going to give up until she set me and this Maria girl up on a date. For some reason, she'd always been obsessed with picking my girlfriends. My friends. My everything.

She claimed she'd known me for so long, she knew what was better for me than I did.

Another text lit up my phone.

Sarah 🤍🧸: Ben, i know u. Ur gonna sit up in ur room every single day if i dont drag u out. Maria and i r going to a party tmrw & ur coming too!!!

"Oh my fucking god," I muttered to myself.

Across the room, Michael broke into a grin. "Girl trouble?"

"Kind of," I admitted.

"Yeah, my girlfriend's being a bitch too." He sniffed and drew his legs up to sit cross-legged on the mattress.

I stared out the window, at the last glimpse of light leaving the horizon. At least the sunset was nice. A soft blend of pink and yellow swirled across the sky. I flopped onto my side and tried to get myself pumped for tomorrow.

First day of classes. First real day of college.

First day of my new life, which kind of, sort of, absolutely sucked so far.

It was terrifying being here, on my own, a whole state from home. I missed my apartment building in Ohio. I missed my old bed and my old clothes and the streets I'd spent hours wandering all those nights I didn't want to go home.

That was the one thing I didn't miss.

Him.

My father.

I chewed on the inner corner of my cheek, trying to banish the thoughts flooding my mind. That was all in the past. I could start fresh here. Be anything I wanted.

I knew nothing of this place, not where the nearest grocery store was, not where the cool places to hang out were, not even where I could go for help if I needed it. The only other student I'd managed to meet acted like an actual mental patient who escaped from the asylum. And I hadn't even eaten anything besides that last bag of Doritos from a convenience store thirty miles back.

At least you have your sanity, right?

Right?