Little Bitch

Chapter 6

Sex had become an act I was so detached from that I actually genuinely had no idea what I preferred. I was just along for the ride, I wasn't the one driving.

"I think I understand."

"I do want you to understand that just because I'm more experience doesn't actually mean I have any idea what I'm doing either," I admitted.

Lexi kissed my hair, and then brushed her fingers through it. The small gesture gave me chills.

"Oh, don't add me in this equation, I know exactly what I'm doing," she joked.

But yeah, she kinda did.

"Oh yeah? Exactly?" I teased her.

"Exactly," she repeated, smiling in the dark at me.

"And what's that?" I chuckled.

"Target acquired," she said, before pressing a kiss on my chest. "Chest all the way."

"My poor chest," I laughed again, pressing a hand against it, like I could trap the kiss there somehow.

"Mine," Lexi said, and pressed another kiss.

I was really grateful for my chest at the moment and for whatever reason it seemed to be so irresistible for my Pumpkin.

But if she kept kissing me it was gonna become a problem, so I tried to steer us back to the subject at hand.

"So, any other question?"

Lexi thought about it for a second, running her fingers absentmindedly on my arm. "Do you know which universities you want to register to? We've never actually talked about this, your future I mean."

"I don't think I've ever let myself plan about my future that much, so yeah I had a few ideas, but not actually because I had any interest, it was just so people would get off my back," I admitted.

"You don't need to go to university either, you know, right?"

"I think I do want to though. I like to learn, as weird as this may sound. And if I'm being honest with myself, I do want the college experience. What about you?"

"Yeah, mostly to colleges not too far from here. I don't want to be too far from home."

"You know you don't always have to take care of everyone. You're allowed to be selfish. And your brother and your father can take care of themselves."

Lexi let out a little sigh. "I know. But at the same time, I also know I can't actually let it go. I don't like to abandon people, or leave anyone being."

I could kinda guess why. Her mother leaving them. Her sister leaving them. Vanessa leaving her. And she probably often felt like the odd one out in her group of friends, so she didn't want anyone else to feel that way, maybe unconsciously.

I didn't tell her this though. I didn't actually want to put her on the spot.

But I also didn't want to specifically assumed anything. I'd been so wrong about Lexi so many times.

"Anyway, it's fine, we still have time to think about this."

"It's just all a little daunting, you know, the fact that nothing is actually like planned after this. School is kinda boring, but the routine is nice. I like having things figured out for me," Lexi added.

"And you don't like change," I pointed out.

"Yeah, I don't like change," she agreed, smiling at me again.

"I don't really like change either. I always liked when things were quiet and not complicated. I like just spending my days reading books and listening to my father playing the piano."