ik i promised to make you suffer but i kinda feel like my angsts are clumsy??? amd they are more like fluff with just a bit of sad undertones 🤷♀️ plus there are no spicy dialouges AND THAT'S WHAT'S REALLY THE SADDEST ABOUT THIS KIND OF POVS😤🔪
BUT REGARDLESS I HOPE YOU ENJOY!!!
also shout-out to my crush for being the most wholesome and amazing and cute and sweet person ever and also introducing me to this song omg (yes i am a simp.)
The full moon was keeping you company on another long night of your journey.
Dainslief - your traveling companion - was fast asleep and it was now up to you to keep guard. You couldn't blame him - he hadn't been able to rest for past two days, as you suspected because of curse and the fact that the protective spell he had put on himself was starting to wear off. However, these were only your guesses, since Dainslief refused to talk about anything concerning him.
Usually, his expression was kind of scary, with his clenched jaw, a frown and tiered look in his eyes, but as he was sleeping, his face lost its coldness and sofened. Seeing him like this always made you smile. Although it was a pity he had to forget himself completely in his dreams not to seem like he had a bloodlust that could be never satisfied.
One more thing you could see only when Dainslief was incredibly worn off and asleep, were his bare hands. Normally, he would wear gloves and never took them off, in any circumstances but after days of fights his skin was covered in many little cuts and blisters.
It was especially painful to see them this way. Dainslief body knew no rest, only constant suffering - the price he was paying and would continue to pay forever for belonging to the nation cursedby gods.
His hands were a perfect picture of what his life was like - aside from those recent wounds, they were covered in little scars and calluses, that all were keepsakes of countless hours of holding a sword – a memories of old days of glory and a constant reminder of pointless fights of the present and future, that were marked by nothing but pain and yearning for a by-gone past, which honestly wasn't good either, but was certainly better than what life was like now.
Thinking about him this way made you so unsufforably sad that sometimes you would cry, just by looking at him.
You had only stars and the moon as a witness now, but still, it was kind of embarassing.
Also, pitying a man who accepted his fate and faced each tomorrow bravely didn't seem quite right.
You sighed and stood up to go and look for an ointment. You bought it after you saw Dainslief's hands for the first time and after he told you to think nothing of it. It was obvious he was not going to take care of himself, so you decided that you were going to deal with it for him.
You sat on the ground next to him and carefully took his hand into yours, observing him.
It was astonishing but he did not wake up.
You smiled and began to slowly massage the ointment into his skin. Your fingertips were moving small circles as they 2ere brushing against the rough palm of his hand, and as you were drawing closer to his wounds and scars, you were getting more delicate and attentive, careful not to cause Dainslief any unnecessary pain.
After you finished with one hand, you started taking care of another.
You were just gently tapping the cosmetic into the blister, when s uddenly, Dainslief exhaled a little louder.
You raised your eyes to look at him and to your surprise, he was gazing at you with curiousity.
"What are you doing, y/n?" he asked quietly, with a slight smile.
"Taking care of your hands, since you don't do that." You shrugged, not stopping to massage ointment into his skin. "Doesn't it hurt you?"
"No" he said but after a while added:
"Not much."
You sighed as you let go of his hand and closed the jar with the ointment.
"Thank you."
You looked at him and smiled.
"No problem." You reached your hand to his face but stopped at last second. You wanted to back away and just leave him be but then, Dainslief wrapped his fingers around your hand and pressed it to his cheek with a smile as his eyes, up till now locked with yours, began to slowly close.
You sighed quietly and smiled as well.
In some ways him and you were the same.
Both wronged by fate, both always on the run and fighting to stay alive. With hands and consciences stained by violence, you were tough enough to keep going, even despite the devine wishes to erase your existence.
It was a miracle you two met and made you happy not to be alone alone.
But deep in your heart, you knew the end.
You knew he’d leave eventually.
But you also knew that until then you'd give him all that you could and he'd brighten up each day when you were together and you'd never stop trying to make him smile and he wouldn't leave your side nor would he give up on you, even when you yourself wanted to just quit.
You shared this silent kind of love. The one you never talk about but the one to which you can hold on to on sleepless nights, the one that sits on your shoulder and makes you stand your ground with a proudly raised chin, the one that says the breakfast was good even though the coffee was burnt, the one that even when you don't want to admit you need it, will say it's proud of you and will fight by your side, even when everything seems lost and hopeless. The kind of love you need when you cry yourself to sleep each night and the kind of love you need to let go of past mistakes, casual cruelties and broken promises.
And you knew that when the day to walk away would come, and when you'd see him for the last time and when your heart would break, you'd no regrets in meeting him and sharing this part of your journey with him.
And you knew that when this day comes, you will still love him and carry the memory of him in your heart till the end of time.
