Mania

9

"Untitled"

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I wish we could sit with our backs turned but we're paranoid.
Your heart is weak;
I think I missed the void.
Black screen;
My eyes start to play tricks on me like I knew they could.
Their feet hit the hardwood when we flinch;
I can't even hold you an inch.

I've been thinking about how much they lack.
I wish we could soak it up and spit it back.
I used to feel like I was just existing;
Everything was holding me back and nothing was ending.
Now, I feel like nothings real;
Am I in my head or
Am I numb and refuse to let myself heal?

I'm sorry I talk about myself so much;
Everyone would call me selfish
But how's it selfish if I only ever had myself to help deal with this?
I feel sick but I still want to drink this down and I hate everybody in this town;
I don't know where to go because all of them were my out.

My soul has played these games but I'm drowning now.
I'm trying so hard to keep from sinking but all this weight is getting to me somehow.

I'm losing my train of thought,

maybe all I've learned is gone.

I want you to know I'm still here

I'm just stuck.

I promise I'll call you when I get out

but

if I don't—
just look for me in the clouds.

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