repeat// 5SOS

i promise i don't hate you

Gabi

"Would you like some cake?"

"Ermmmm,"

"Sierra helped," I added.

"Go on then," Michael said, "Why not?"

"Calum?"

"A small piece,"

"Dad you're having some aren't you?"

"Why don't I bring the cake out and everyone can slice themselves a bit,"

"I will slice it,"

Dad went to the kitchen, then came back with the cake and a knife, which I took and started to cut pieces of cake. Calum got a bit mad because I cut his too big, but then Mike told him off for being grumpy, and took a chunk out of it.

Dad had some too, and Sierra, then I sat beside Ashton and put the knife down.

"You're not having any?"

"I had some at lunch,"

"Have another slice," Mike said, "It tastes good!"

"I don't feel good,"

Ash put his arm round me and I rested in his side, staring down at the floor as everyone spoke around me. I had asked everyone to come round, then I supposed I had kind of ignored them, but I liked them being in the room with me.

Today had been quite fun... quite normal. I thought having more company would lift my spirits, but it turned out my battery was extremely drained and I had no energy when they arrived.

"Did you get a haircut?" Ashton asked.

"Yes,"

"I like it,"

"It looks the same," I said, looking up at Michael, "You need a haircut,"

"I know,"

"Can I do it?"

"No way,"

"I would not trust you within 10 feet of my hair," Calum said.

"I put a lot of trust into you but I can't even give you a haircut! How is that fair? You literally like, see inside my stomach,"

"That doesn't give you a crappy hair style,"

"Yes it does, I have to lay down,"

"You're not cutting anyone's hair," dad said, "Or anyones cake again,"

"But payback,"

"You've got plenty of time for payback," Ash said.

"Michael and dad are the only people who are safe, remember,"

"I remember," Michael grinned, "I'm always gonna be safe,"

"Not necessarily. No one is safe, other than Petunia,"

"I think you had better get up to bed,"

"No,"

"Yes," dad said, "You're overtired and about to start getting argumentative,"

"No I am not! All I said was Petunia is safe!"

"All of this safe nonsense might hurt people's feelings, the guys are just doing their job at the hospital,"

"Well they hurt my feelings," I shot back, confused about why he was having a problem with this all of a sudden. They knew it was only a joke, and Calum always offered me gifts because of me having to be in hospital.

"They look after you very well,"

"Luke, it's okay," Calum said, "She's got to let it out somehow, I don't think any of us take it seriously,"

"I just think we should be more respectful of everything you guys do for her,"

I stood from the table and took my plate to the kitchen, then headed back out and towards the stairs, anger prickling my skin. He humiliated me in front of them sometimes.

I made it about four steps up, then had to stop, but Calum followed me over and picked me up instead to take me to my room.

He sat me on the bed, then sat beside me and held my hands, which were trembling a bit.

"Does it upset you?"

"I mean, it hurts sometimes to hear because I love you, and I want you to always feel loved by me. However I know you're only trying to shed light on a crappy situation,"

"I'm sorry,"

"It's okay, I just hope you don't actually feel unsafe around me!"

"I don't. I feel very safe. I just meant, like, I just meant... it was supposed to be like you being on thin ice,"

"Rightly so," he laughed quietly, "Hey? I think everyone hates their doctors at the time. As long as you know we all love you a lot, and we do try our best to make your life easier, it's okay,"

"I am grateful,"

"I know you are. I think what dad is worried about is that you are holding grudges and thinking we perhaps don't care about you, but I know you know we care,"

"Today had been really good until then,"

"What did you get up to?"

"No. It's ruined now. The day is ruined,"

"I am heading home now," Michael said, poking his head round the door, "I love you lots,"

"Please don't go,"

"He's not mad, but your dad is as protective over us as he is of you,"

"He is mad,"

"Between me and you, he is getting overtired and argumentative too," Cal whispered, kissing my head, "I'm going to head off too,"

"Please stay,"

"We will come over on Wednesday to see you in your dress,"

I gave them both a hug, then they left, so I turned the tv on and changed into my pyjamas. I brushed my teeth and washed my face, then climbed into my bed and let Petunia come and lay with me, for she had come upstairs and sat by the side of my bed.

"You have to stop letting her on your bed,"

"No,"

"Petunia, off,"

"Petunia stay," I said, scowling at dad, "Good girl,"

"Look, I don't want to argue with you, I think we are both feeling tired and frustrated, so please can we just spend this evening doing our own things,"

"Fine,"

"I love you,"

"Love you," I mumbled, turning my tv off, "Goodnight,"

"You're sleeping?"

"Yeah. Goodnight,"

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feeling a double update