sambucky shorts

touch 2

Rewrite of Domestic 1 & Relationship 2

2

"James," Sam said pointedly. He let out a deep sigh when Bucky wouldn't respond, working on gaining his confidence back proved harder to be done every day, but Sam wasn't going to give up. They were grown, Sam wasn't dumb, there were things people want in a relationship and when it comes down to the physical details of their relationship Bucky wouldn't let himself be free. No matter how hard Sam tried to get him to understand that he was completely fine with how much Bucky needed to physically affirm his love, he wouldn't. He wouldn't do anything unless Sam did something first, unless he reached out towards Bucky first.

At first, it hurt Sam a little bit to think that Bucky's first thought if he touched him would be getting angry, but this wasn't about him. He knew that somewhere along the lines Bucky's bodily autonomy was not his, at some point his body wasn't his control, to move, to use. Bucky always seemed hesitant when it came to touch, tentative to let Sam see him without a shirt or let Sam hold hands with his non-human arm. Though that began to change once they reached a sort of official point in their relationship, stumbling over words they somehow managed to ask each other to be boyfriends. Sam tried to get Bucky to answer him, which was harder when they awkwardly sat in separate chairs.

In front of Bucky's therapist.

"Jamie, C'mon, the faster we get this over with, the faster we can get home," Sam reasoned.

Sam didn't want this for James, and he didn't want this for Sam. Somehow someone caught drift that they were becoming more than partners and therefore forcing them (mostly Bucky) to talk about it with the therapist imparted on them by some higher ups that, to be honest, neither of them gave a fuck about.

"Fine," Bucky grumbles. He glares down at the floor before looking up at the therapist, he glances at Sam briefly and his expression softens upon seeing him. Bucky hopes Sam can understand the unspoken apology in his words when he begins to speak,"Sam is...we're dating each other."

James hears the click of her pen, and he holds back the urge to roll his eyes, he waits for her to ask a question as she always does after writing something down.

"How's that going for you?"

"Good," Bucky answers a little too quickly and he goes to fix his answers because he doesn't want Sam to think that he doesn't think their relationship isn't the best thing in the world that's ever happened to him, but his therapist beats him. She speaks with an even tone,"Now, I want you to be specific, and if your answer is satisfactory, we can end the session early, all right, guys?"

Sam and Bucky nod wordlessly.

Bucky takes a deep breath, this time speaking as truthfully as he could,"It's going better than I thought," he pauses briefly, again not wanting to hurt Sam's feelings.

"I mean, it's just that things like this don't happen a lot to me, and Sam's a good thing, and I appreciate him, I l—"

Bucky gets cut off by the therapist, he wonders if she did that on purpose as dread fills him when he thinks about what he was going to say. He did not want the first time he told Sam that he loved him to be in front of a therapist because someone told on them.

"I think this should be a good place to end, I will be seeing you soon, Mr. Barnes," the therapist says without looking at him.

Bucky cringes at what she calls him but doesn't say anything and pulls Sam out by the hand from the makeshift office they were shoved into.

Sam has a smile on his face, they don't speak for a while after that, but Bucky is still holding his hand long after they've left the building.