𝐌𝐚𝐟𝐢𝐚 𝐌𝐚𝐧𝐬 𝐂𝐚𝐦𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥

𝐈𝐕

                                                           | 𝐂 𝐎 𝐌 𝐌 𝐄 𝐍 𝐓    &    𝐕 𝐎 𝐓 𝐄 |

| 𝐍𝐢𝐜𝐨𝐥𝐞 |

    "We could grab A bite to eat then, go see that new movie you were talking about?" 

    It's been the only thing I can think about since I read it. It's such a tempting offer, but I don't know what to say. Or if it's even a good idea. So I left him on read. Horrible thing I know, but I have more important things to worry about. Such as my chemistry homework or my English paper that I have yet to start. Maybe even what outfit I'm gonna wear tonight in my stream. Instead, I'm thinking about a man who I've known for almost eight months, and what my response should be. Need to get my priorities in check.

    Thank god I'm snapped out of my thoughts. My math teacher handed me last weeks test. "Keep up the good work, you're almost up to a B+ in Precal." I nod at him and just took the paper. Not to toot my own horn, but I'm kind of doing ok in Math. Watch my grade go down now after I say that. Cause that is just my luck.

    I met up with Sam, and Ethan by Ethan's locker. We meet at his locker because it's closer to the cafeteria. They both are wrapped up in their worlds on their phones, which I'm kind of thankful for. After reading that message I've lowkey been on edge about to do. Of course I'd love to say yes, but it's too risky. Too many things could go wrong. 

  I didn't feel like telling them about this, because I already know I'm going to get a lecture. "It's not safe to put yourself in situations such as these" or "maybe it's time to take a break." I know them well enough to know their responses. I need to find a way to nicely tell him it's too early for that, and for my privacy I can't. I'm thinking about canceling my stream tonight, just so there's no awkward tension or anything. I still might do some sessions though.

         A stream is when I go live for everyone. Anyone can join my streams. Which is fucking scary, and why I only do two every other week. You can automatically see what girls are live, and if you're subscribed to any girls they pop up first. So if he's on he'll see I'm on, and that just gives me anxiety already. If I didn't have to do a stream this week, then I wouldn't. Site rules you have to do at least one a month. It's how they "advertise" you. 

          A session is where individual people pick me for a cam show. Streams get me more money, but sessions are safer. I'm not in dying need for money, I'm cushioned at the moment. Thankfully.

"Earth to Cole, hello?" I've been in my head so much that I missed the whole conversation. "Yeah?" Ethan, and Sam both look at me in a questioning way. " We said 'ready for lunch honey bunch?' are you paying attention? " "Yea." No, I'm not, but no one needs to know that. If they do all the questions come, and I don't feel like answering questions.

   We got our trays and headed to a table. I'm not hungry so I pick at my food. On the other hand, Ethan swallows his whole tray. It's like he's in prison, and fears someone snatching it away. "Slow down E, it's not like the food is going anywhere." Sam took the words right out of my mouth. She tends to do that, I swear we are the same person in different bodies. "Sorry, my mom forgot breakfast. I've been dying of hunger since 7:45 am." I, and Sam both gasped at the same time. "No way, your mom missed breakfast?" He rolls his eyes at me. "Shut up."

     It's funny because Ethan's mom loves cooking. She was a chef at one time. Then, she had Ethan and his seven thousand siblings that followed. She believed -and still does believe- that she should only work till she had kids. That her role as wife, and mother as soon as Ethan's alcoholic asshole of a father knocked her up. So she cooks her way through life while his father cheats, works, and drinks. But, no judgement here. Some of us have it worse.

  "So, Nicole." I look up from my phone to stare at Ethan, who is being nosey. I can tell by his tone. "What do you want, or what did you do?" He smiles at me like he's trying to convince me of something, or more himself. "Nothing, nothing, I was just gonna ask about your birthday that is, oh ya know THIS SATURDAY!" My eyes widen a little, out of pure shock.

        I must have forgotten about it. Through everything that's been going on I never really thought about my birthday. I don't really celebrate it anyways, so it just slipped my mind. Now as fucked up as that sounds, it's true. I don't celebrate my birthday. Not after what happened with my parents. Don't get me wrong, Sam does a little movie night, and we skip school if we happen to have school that day, but other than that we don't do anything. I don't do anything. They get me a card, and a little cake, but that's all. They know I don't like anything too much.

          But, at least this year I'll be legal. So there's that. 

  "Cool, I don't really want to do anything. So I don't care." Both of them roll their eyes. I know I'm annoying, but like so are they. Finally, the bell rings, and my ass is off to whatever boring class I have next. 

                                               |    𝐋 𝐀 𝐓 𝐄 𝐑    𝐓 𝐇 𝐀 𝐓   𝐃 𝐀 𝐘   |

     I got home to an empty house per usual. I took a shower and got ready for the sadness that is being Sweetxsecret. I check my inbox, tips, and tags. I dread reading his messages, but I kinda have to. I can't avoid him, then it'll be obvious I'm lowkey finding a excuse. But, he is a busy man, with a whole ass company to run so I should be the least of his concern. I'm not though, and that is what kind of touches my heart.

Ugh.

  Surprisingly there isn't anything. He hasn't messaged me since yesterday. I don't know if that's a good thing or not. I don't think anything of it, and continue with what I'm doing. It felt like a relief to be honest.

      I make a little clip telling my streams about me going live in a minute. I'm being seductive, slutty, submissive, and dominant all at the same time. Make them think you need them, while also making them think they need you.

   After I made the clip I went through my IG DM's, because I have some time to kill. I should be thinking about my birthday in all honesty. I should be planning my "after the fact" part of life out. Where I'm done with school, moved out, got a job, and got my money, but I want all of that as far out of my mind as it can get. I just wanna live in my fantasy land, for as long as I possibly can. 

    After going through my DM'S, I looked back on sugar plums, at my messages. I have multiple 'can't wait baby' messages. Then, I have a message from him. 'If you have time before your stream, could we talk sweetness?'. I didn't reply to any messages, because I didn't get a chance to. Due to Sam calling me.

  As soon as I answered I heard it, I heard it all. "Where are you Sam" I could faintly hear her voice. "Next to the graveyard." "Ok, I'll be right there."  I ended the call got dressed, cleaned up, and exited sugar plums. Rushed to the old graveyard.

     Can't anything be easy in my life, fuck.

(AN) it's shorter than the last chap ik, but it's just getting good. Trying to keep a decent schedule lol. 

           Also umm thank you really thank you to anyone who reads my book. Means a lot to me. Didn't think that anyone would ever read this, but apparently there are ppl who maybe like the book lol. 

         EXCUSE ANY MISTAKE- I am human lol

                          |  HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO JULY BABIES |   J <3 (AN)