𝐌𝐚𝐟𝐢𝐚 𝐌𝐚𝐧𝐬 𝐂𝐚𝐦𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥

𝐈

                                                           | 𝐂 𝐎 𝐌 𝐌 𝐄 𝐍 𝐓    &    𝐕 𝐎 𝐓 𝐄 |

| 𝐍𝐢𝐜𝐨𝐥𝐞 |

         "Baby I wish you didn't have to go, the session was just getting good." I look up at the man on the screen in front of me. His hand is on his cock, and he's looking into my eyes. Almost my soul, that would be if I had one. "Sorry daddy, this was fun though. Have a great night, and remember my messages are always open." "I'll be sure to send you some tomorrow." I logged off, and closed any proof of me ever being a "sugar plums cam girl"  just thinking of the name makes me want to vomit. 

        In life, you do what you need to do to get to where you want to be. That's the thing I've learned in all of my 17 years of life. That's the thing my mother taught me. And, to this day I still live by it. 

        We were never rich, but we made ends meet. My mom and dad both worked at the same company, but my mom would sometimes pick up random jobs. Just to make sure we had cushion, god forbid anything unexpected were to happen.  So I've lived by 'do what you need to do to get to where you want to be.'

  "Nicole, come on, it'll be dark before we get there!" I rolled my eyes at his comment. It was only 7pm on a early October night. We've got a little time. "Coming I'll be downstairs once I get my shoes on." Or once I wipe off my mask of makeup. 

  I ran downstairs to my uncle. "Alright, I got the flowers for you." I looked up at him and simply smiled. "Is anyone coming?" "Nicole, it's been 10 years has anyone ever come?" "Times change, just thought maybe Aunt Riley would join. I was just curious." "Curiosity killed the cat. Let's go." With that, we walked out of the house and got into his car. The drive was quiet, just like every drive we'd ever been on. But, he is my uncle what do I even talk to him about? Nothing, we keep quiet and finally arrive at the cemetery. 

 It's a sad truth I've had to face since I was 7. That is my parents being dead. It was a car crash, a drunk teen driving from a prom to get to a party. They hit my parents head-on. Both my mom and dad dead at the scene, no point in going to the hospital. I was with my grandma, they were driving to come to pick me up a day early. I just think how if I didn't ask them to come that day, I'd be with them right now. My therapist told me not to do that. It's called self-blame. I told her to go fuck herself.

  We walked up to their tombstones. I put the flowers on both graves. "I'll give you your time, I'm gonna go see other family." All I said was "Okay."  I sat down in between the two stones. I never liked coming here when I was younger, because of the fear of truth. The truth was that my favorite people, my fucking parents were gone. It was hard when I was little seeing my friends with their parents. Now it's a little easier I just avoid anything that reminds me of them. I avoid any occasion where family is a needed thing. That being said I only go to the mall with my friends.

                                           |   𝐋 𝐀 𝐓 𝐄 𝐑      𝐓 𝐇 𝐀 𝐓    𝐃 𝐀 𝐘   |

   After our short visit to my parents, we went back home and had dinner. I was in my room getting everything together. I put my cam fits in the box under my bed, and everything else that went with it. I got into my pj's and hopped in bed. Then, someone knocked on my door. "Come in." He stood there almost surveying my room for something. "Just wanted to tell you good night, I'm going out for a little. Text me if you need me." He usually does this goes out at random times during the night, doing whatever. He gets back by the time I'm getting up and ready for school. He never seems tired it's always as if he's living a double life. "Okay, try not to have too much fun." He nodded his head walking out the door.