HER

𝙿𝚊𝚛𝚝 46

♪die first by Nessa Barrett♪

                                     Rᴏxʏ

What's the worst feeling in the world? Feeling alone but at the same time wanting to be, not wanting to bother anyone.

That's how I felt most my life until I met him. I never felt alone with him because I knew he loved me and that he'd never do anything to hurt me.

But I had hurt him.

I blinked my eyes open and shifted my head a bit to see Troy by my side. His head in his hands and his body shaking through the snobs. I hated the state he was in and I hated that I was the cause.

A tear escaped my eye, running down the side of my face. "I'm sorry." I whispered with a scratchy throat.

He lifted his head quickly, his eyes bloodshot red. His shaking hands moving quickly towards mine, to hold them. He bit his bottom lip hard, trying not to let out any more tears. "Why Roxy? Why?" He questioned.

I gulped and glanced at my dark blue journal that stood on the hospital bedside table, along with some flowers and a glass of half filled water.

He read it. He knew everything.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Troy questioned again, grabbing my attention.

I remained quiet. So did he as he watched me with worrying eyes.

After a bit, a Doctor walked in and smiled at me. "Ahh, you're awake." He said with a gentle smile.

"Can I be discharged?" I asked him and he nodded, looking towards Troy and quickly adding. "Unfortunately, the cancer cells has spread over her entire body and I'm sorry to inform you but I don't think any form of therapy or treatment can remove it. At least not all of it."

Troy jumped up to his feet. "Bullshit!" He cursed furiously. "You gotta save her man!" He screamed at the doctor, all the tears he tried to keep in now running down his cheeks.

I squeezed my eyes tightly and grabbed his hand. "Can we just go home? Please."

                                        ➪

I never thought I'd ever say it but I missed New York and I was happy to be back. Back to where it all started.

"How are you feeling today?" My doctor asked me with a glowing smile.

I looked to my side and smiled at Troy, placing my hand on his leg then looking up at her again. "Great." I replied.

I wasn't lying this time. It's been a month since we got back from Dallas and so much has changed. We moved back into our little neighborhood, Troy too. We were staying in the exact same house, only we made it more of a home. Troy loved the park in the center, said it reminded him of his childhood and that early morning... the morning my heart had fallen in love with him. Lucy returned to her old school and got to see her friends again. We could afford to renovate the place a bit, but not too fancy though. And I... I unfortunately wasn't going to be around for as long as I wanted to but I was happy, I've gotten everything I've ever wanted. A family, a love that fulfilled me, that completed me and most importantly I found peace. I was satisfied with how life had turned out.

After the appointment, we left the hospital to fetch Lucy at school. We waited at the front gate of her school in silence until we noticed her cute head pop out in the crowd of kids.

Her face brightened up and she ran towards us, hugging Troy first. "Hey princess." He smiled as he threw her up in the air then put her on her feet gently again.

"Can we go to the park please?" Lucy asked and I agreed. "Sure. Let's first go home so you can change into other clothes."

                                         ➪

Troy pulled into the driveway of our house and Lucy quickly jumped out and ran towards the front door. I chuckled lightly then got out too, walking up towards the front door and unlocking it for her. She squealed and ran inside. I turned around and saw Troy standing at the mailbox, an envelope in his right hand.

"Aren't you going to open it up?" I asked him and he looked up with wide eyes. "It's from Juilliard." He whispered in shock.

I shrugged. "So, open it?"

He hesitated for a moment then opened it roughly with shaky hands. He then read, then looked up at me in shock.

"What is it?" I asked.

"T-they've provided me with an in-person audition in order to be completely accepted." He stammered.

"That's great!" I smiled happily.

"Yeah, except... expect the fact that I didn't pay $71,780." He admitted, scratching his head in confusion.

"I did." I answered nonchalantly.

I expected him to yell at me or get frustrated but instead he just pulled me in for a long tight hug. "Thank you." He said gafter a while.

"Last one at the park is a rotten egg!" Lucy yelled as she ran out the front door and into the street. Troy chuckled and raced towards the park on the opposite side of our house. I inhaled deeply then exhaled, smiling sincerely.

I was about to join them when my phone rang in my pocket. I picked up without checking who it was. "Hello?" I answered and there was silence on the other side. "Who is this?" I asked.

"It's me, it's papi."