Fated Nirvana || Completed

Chapter 39 || Escape Advise.

CHAPTER SONG - Color's, Halsey
Lina

My mom stood in front of me, still in her scrubs and gaping at me. I wiped my palms down my jeans, trying to get rid of the built-up sweat. But seeing her reaction, I learned I was right. She in fact did not know about my dad being back in town. And I have just dumped the news onto her. Gee, this is nice.

    I lifted my gaze up at her for the fourth time, and it only made me wince, again. She was still standing there, staring at me like I just told her I was joining the circus or something. Honestly, her reaction would probably be less shocked if I told her that instead. Clearing my dry throat, I looked down at the dinner plate in front of me, my appetite gone. Which was upsetting in itself because that pasta looked delicious and took some time to make.

    The heat in my hands brought my attention back to them, and I whipped them, again. Finally, building enough courage, I looked up at her again. "Mom?" I called, softly and hoping to not make the situation any more traumatizing. But if I'm being honest with myself, this was hard enough. I shouldn't be the one dealing with this. I shouldn't have to be the buffer between my own parents. I was no moderator, and I sure didn't want to be.

   I like to hide from problems, not be right in the middle. I was their child, and not their pacificator. They put me here. I know I wasn't really a child, according to the law anyways but I was still a child. Their child. Not a dang toy to tug back and forth for their own benefits. And that's exactly what I feel like right now.

   The shock on my mom's face seemed to fade once I called her, and her next expression wasn't any better. She scowled at me. "Why didn't you tell me earlier?" she asked, raising her voice at me, "I would have never let you meet with him."

   Let me?

    Her hand flew up into the air as she started yelling, "This is irresponsible of you, Lina. I raised you better than that, and you should have not gone. He left. Without a single explanation, or warning, he walked out, and you did what?" she faced me, narrowing her tanned eyes at me, "You went to see the man. The lying cheat, you let him back into your life. To what? Lie to you?"

  Words trembled out of my mouth, "His my dad."

  "It doesn't matter! You should have told me."

   I swallowed, coiling into my seat to the point that my chin was tucked into my chest, and I could barely move. She didn't usually yell at me. Heck, the last time she yelled at me I had to be like six. I was not the child that got yelled at, I was the good one. Now, I was eighteen, and for the past year and a half have pretty much lived on my own. That more than qualifies me to be moved out of an age where she is allowed to yell at me. I'm an adult, not a child who needs to ask for permission. This isn't some custody battle either.

    I watched her sit down across from me. Her chair scraping the ground loudly, making me wince more, and making me feel like I stole a cookie out the jar, or something. She reached across the table and grabbing my hand and all I wanted to do was pull away. So badly, I wanted to just put space between us. I didn't, and she sighed. "Lina, why didn't you talk to me before going?" she asked, hurting filling her gaze. But that's not fair, is it?

   I regarded her, trying to find my words that felt so far back right now. Ask her? When? On all the day's she came home late, and left early? All the time she spent avoiding me like I was the plague, and not her daughter.

   The word's ask her, burned in my mind so badly that I just wanted to peel out of my own skin. Why would I ask when I have the right to see my dad. He might be her cheating ex-husband, but he was my dad regardless. Ask her? Like I was the child she's been loving, and taking care of for the past year? Because shocker, she hasn't.