Too Good To Be True?

Chapter 24

I smiled as I watched the glittering lights shining all around us as we drove through the city. I relaxed into the passenger seat, rubbing my thumb over the back of David’s hand. It was the night of August 6th, our fourth anniversary, and even though I had told him that I was perfectly fine with a simple date night, David had insisted on bringing me to some fancy restaurant so we could have a romantic dinner, so of course I said yes.
    He guided me out of the car once we’d parked, smiling with all the stars of the sky in his smile. He led me up through a beautiful, intimate restaurant decorated with red and black velvet but we didn’t stop there. We were led up even more stairs to the roof of the building where a few tables were laid out underneath twinkling fairy lights, the night’s light breeze making the candlelight flicker invitingly.
    I pecked David’s lips happily as he pulled out my chair for me. He squeezed my shoulder affectionately before taking his own seat across from me. My foot immediately found his under the table, not wanting to be disconnected from him for one minute.
    I picked up the menu and attempted to ignore the fact that this was one of those places which was so expensive that they didn’t even list the prices of anything. The new house had been expensive, of course, but apparently David had been holding out on me about just how much he’d had saved up from YouTube because we were still doing quite well for ourselves, especially since I’d started working for Mr. Green doing more voice acting again.
    We sat in comfortable silence for a bit, drinking in the cozy atmosphere as we studied the city laid out around us. Once the waitress had taken our order and we’d gotten our drinks, I looked over the rim of my glass coyly, examining his relaxed posture and trying to see if there was anything else going on underneath the surface.
    “A fourth anniversary is kind of a weird one to go all out for,” I teased, dropping my gaze as his eyes settled on me. “Why did you want to come here so badly?”
    “Trust me, this is nowhere near going all out,” he replied easily, reaching across the white silk tablecloth and taking my soft hand in his. “I wanted to do this because you deserve nothing but the best and I wanted to show you that that’s what you’re going to get from now on.”
    “You know I don’t care about all that fancy stuff, Charming,” I said, meeting the deep ocean of his eyes. “Just being with you, no matter where that is or what we’re doing, that’s all that I care about.”
    He sighed, lifting my knuckles to his lips. “I know, Princess, but… with everything that’s happened, with not getting to properly celebrate our anniversary last year, I just wanted to make some sort of grand gesture.” His gaze started to cloud over as he thought back to last year, to that awful day when I screamed those horrible things at him and nearly lost him forever.
    I’d finally been able to forgive myself for doing it, thanks to his unwavering support and constant reminders that there was nothing I could’ve done differently and that he didn’t hold any resentment against me for it, but that didn’t mean it didn’t still sting when I thought about it.
    “And…” David continued, clearing his throat nervously. “I… I wanted to thank you.”
    I cocked my head curiously. “Thank me? What for?”
I could feel his palm starting to sweat against my own, his gaze flickering from my eyes to our hands to the stars and over again as he spoke. “For everything. For being an amazing girlfriend and the most wonderful person I’ve ever met. For believing in me and encouraging me to chase after my dreams. For being so incredibly strong in the times I was at my weakest. But most importantly, I wanted to thank you for…” His fingers went slack as his eyes fell to his lap, his voice hardly a whisper as he breathed, “For saving my life…”
My heart skittered in my chest, my ears attempting to repeat what they’d just heard. “Saving your…? David, what do you mean?”
He gulped, looking like a toddler who was afraid he would get in trouble for confessing he ate out of the cookie jar. “Well, you know I wasn’t doing so well while we were… separated, but, I never told you—told anyone—the extent of it.”
I didn’t want to think about what he could mean, what possible implications his words could have.
“I was so depressed, so angry, so broken… The whole time I was on the flight, in the car, looking through your closet, I felt like I was outside of my body, watching myself go through the motions because I knew if I let the reality start to sink in, I would collapse under the pressure. I knew it was my only chance to get you back and I couldn’t let anything bring me down.”
A tear slipped down his cheek as he relayed these memories. My heart, which he made feel like gold, was crumpling like tinfoil.
“When you said those things… about how I'd never been there for you, how I've made you cry so many times, I… I felt like I had nothing left to live for…”
I quickly set a hand on his cheek, letting him know that I was still here and trying to keep him grounded when I could feel him slipping like he had that day.
He set his jaw, determined to get out what he wanted to say. “I was really going to do it, Angel. And the scariest part is, I… I didn’t feel anything. I wasn’t sad, I wasn’t scared, I was just… nothing.”
My breath caught in my throat as his gaze locked with mine, noticing for the first time the shattered glass that he’d managed to hide beneath the surface for a whole year.
“You’re not just the most important thing in my life, Angel. You are my life. Without you, I have no purpose, no will to live.” He gently pulled my hands to his chest, keeping my eyes ensnared in this complicated pit of emotions. “To think that if you hadn’t remembered, if I hadn’t seen you running after me, if anything had gone differently, I… I might not have been here right now… and I just can’t believe that I could’ve been so selfish, that I could’ve left you alone just because I wasn’t as strong as you… So I wanted to say thank you, Angel, and that I’m so sorry that I almost let that happen.”
Twin streams streaked down my face as I gazed at him, feeling like a tree that had been hollowed out by rot knowing that I came so close to losing him forever.
“David… why didn’t you tell me? Why didn’t you ask your friends for…?” I stopped myself, shaking my head as I knew there was nothing they could’ve done. My voice was a wobbling top as I slipped my eyes shut, a sudden feeling of terror coming over me. “Please don’t leave me… I promise, I will always be here for you, I… I need you to be here for me, too…”
He came around the side of the small table and knelt in front of me, pulling my head into his shoulder and smothering me in his embrace. “I will, Angel. I won’t ever leave you.” He grabbed my right hand and pressed his lips against the silver promise ring which hadn’t left my finger once this past year. “I promise, with every cell of my being.”
“Thank you for telling me,” I murmured, sniffling as I attempted to regain my composure. “You know you can talk to me about anything, right?”
I felt his head nod against mine, his arms still securely around my shoulders. “I know, and I’m sorry I can be so hesitant sometimes.” He finally pulled back enough that I could see his face, his fingers brushing away the tears I hadn’t managed to wipe off on his jacket. “I truly love you, Angel. More than you could ever know.”
“I love you too, David. So, so much.”