Like a drug | A Johnny Depp Fanfiction [Complete]

14. Pills, needles, weed.

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Chapter 14
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Johnny came into the livingroom. He scratched the back of his head and looked around.
"Good morning." I said and he looked at me.
"What are you doing here?" He asked me.
"I am here since yesterday. You were pretty messed up." I told him.
"Since yesterday?" He asked again and I nodded. I stood up and walked towards him.
"I don't remember." Johnny mumbled and had another look through the room.
"Did-. Did you cleaned everything up?"
I nodded.
"Yeah. But I'm not finished. I wanted to do the kitchen and maybe put some new bed sheets on your bed." I told him.
"You don't need to do that."
"Who will? I guess not you. You will live in a dirty whole soon if no one is cleaning it up." I told him. He sighed.
"Then let me life in my dirt hole." He mumbled and walked past me to the terrace.
I ordered some breakfast and it arrived five minutes ago. So I prepared it and placed it on the dining table.

"Breakfast is ready." I told him and he just nodded. I waited for him. Two minutes. Four minutes. Ten minutes. But then I decided to eat alone.
I opened up my phone and checked my social media while I was eating.
As I was nearly finished, he joined me. He sat down and took one of the sandwiches.
"Enjoy." I told him but he didn't gave me a reaction.

After he was finished, Johnny just stood up and walked towards a shelf. I watched him.
"Johnny." I said as I saw that he grabbed a bottle of wine.
"Hey!" I shouted and he looked at me.
"Put that thing down." I told him. But he had a look at the bottle, opened it up and drank a few sips.
"Best thing for a hangover." He mumbled and took another big sip. I stood up and stopped him.
"Not anymore. I have something against a headache and against nausea. No more Alcohol or drugs today." I said and I saw his face freezing.
"You are not stopping me from anything. And I don't want your stupid medicine." He told me and walked out with the bottle.

I just let him be for a moment. I cleaned the table where we ate and then joined him again.
"Look. I know you want to be alone. And I also know that you-. That you don't want to live anymore. But I told you yesterday. That you should think about your kids. About your friends. And also about me. It hurts me too, to see you like this." I told him. He just dragged on his cigarette. I got no response. Not even a single look.
"I know you don't want to hear it Johnny. But this shit-." I took the bottle out of his hands.
"Wont help anyone. Not you. Not your kids. Not your friends. Not your job. Not me. No one. And I am begging you Johnny. Stop."
He finally looked at me and then at the bottle.

"You know? When you are at a point in your life where you lost everything. You have no hope left for anything. I am already dead." He told me.
"No you're not Johnny." I said quiet. I already felt like crying again.
"I feel nothing. And when a person does not feel anything, they're dead."
"There-. There must be something you feel. Just anything."
"Except that I hate everyone at the moment? No. Nothing." He told me.
"But you remember what we talked about five months ago right?" I asked. He sighed and nodded.
"That you be my wall where I can lean on to push my problems away. Right?" I asked him and he nodded again.
"I can't anymore." He said quiet and looked down to his hands.
"Therefore you need someone now."

Johnny looked at me. His eyes were wet.
"I probably do." He looked at his hands again. I let him think for a while. As I saw a tear dropping down on his hands, he looked at me.
I didn't wanted to know what terrible things were wandering through his mind at the moment. It must be painful.
"You don't probably need help. You need help Johnny."
"I think I got it." He whispered.
"You're not expecting help. That is your problem. You need to accept help now. Otherwise you will continue living like that for months, years or whatever." He dropped his head onto his legs and started sobbing.
"I don't want to." He cried.
"I don't."

"Help me. Please." Johnny whispered as he calmed down. He looked at me and the pain in his eyes was hurting me.
"Of course." I told him.
"I will help you." I repeated and smiled at him with tears in my eyes.
"Thank you."

"Can I hug you?" I asked him.
"Please."
He looked at me.
"Is it necessary?" He asked.
"Yes it is." I told him and felt a tear running down my cheek.
Johnny moved his body up from the chair. I did the same and immediately hugged him. The tears started streaming down my face. He held me tight.

"You should've told me earlier. I could've helped you." I sobbed.
"I did." He whispered. And then I remembered.
The day when he came back. He told me that he's addicted to drugs.
"I'm sorry." I told him and looked up to him.
"Cross that. The way I said it... no one would've believed me." He mumbled.

"I ask you now one time. Do you want to get to know me again. As the person I am now?" Johnny asked me.
"I do." I told him.
"I guess I'm not the same anymore. I am different now."
"I know. I told you I will help you. But you didn't called, you didn't texted me, nothing. And I started to get worried. That's because I also stayed this night. Because I care for you and I don't want to leave here to die."
His eyes were scanning my face.

"I guess there are feelings." He said quiet.
"I know. You just don't want to feel them because they will maybe hurt. But I promise you that I try to not hurt you. But this whole process of helping you.... look. It's a different case now instead of taking fears away. Maybe I will hurt you with something I say and maybe we will fight about it. But you need to remember that I am still caring for you. Even when I am taking away your drugs and alcohol. Now." I told him.
"Do you want that?" I asked him.
"Do you have the strength to do it?"

"On one hand, it's complicated. And on the other hand, I have no other choice. And it's not a choice for me. It's something I will do from deep out of here." I told him and placed my finger at his chest, where his heart was located.

"You have a beautiful soul." He said soft.
"You have one. But you need to see it." I told him.
"Come on. Sit down. I'll have something to do." I told him and he sat back down on the chair.

I went inside, grabbed a big bag and threw in all what I could find of alcohol and drugs.

"Where are you hiding the rest of it?" I asked him.
"It's under the sofa. You need to lift up the sitting space." He sighed.

I lifted it up and found a few bags of everything that exists. Pills, needles, weed. A bit of everything. I took all of it and also put it in the bag.

"Inside of it is everything what I was able to find. I am throwing it away. I am going to take it home with me and throw it away there. Then I am coming back. And we are talking about, what we need to change." I said.
"Everything you could find?" He asked and I nodded.
"Everything." I told him.
"Okay." He sighed. I called a cab.

As I was home I threw the bag into the trash. With no back thought of police or something different. Just that it's gone. I took some clothes into a suitcase and called a cab again to drive back. I didn't wanted to leave him alone. I decided to stay with him until I was at the opinion he is able to make it alone.

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Quick reminder that English is not my native language (:

I thought a bit of sadness was neccessary (: