Like a drug | A Johnny Depp Fanfiction [Complete]

13. little bag with drugs.

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Chapter 13
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Five and a half months. The news even questioned if he went missing. But he was not. I chatted with him today.

Hey Johnny,
it's five and a half months
now. When are you free?
Love Sadie :)

I'm free

Since I got fired from every
Set I worked on.

This evening, six at my place?

Yes sure. I'll be there.

But Johnny wasn't himself. It was five in the evening now and I dressed myself. It's 2018 now. March. So it was kind of chilling outside. But a light jacked was enough for the way to his house. I called a cab and on my way to his house, I had a weird feeling about the whole situation.

I rang the doorbell. But Johnny didn't opened up. I checked my phone and saw a message from him.

I'm on the terrace.
Front door pin is 2804

I typed in the code and opened the door. His house was a mess. A mixed smell of cigarettes and burned meat. I took of my shoes and went through the mess. Empty bottles on the table. A little box with a card on top next to them. A little bag with drugs in it.
Clothes on the floor. Even burned cigarettes. It was quiet dirty. The blankets and pillows on his sofa, who were always very sorted, were on the floor or just messed up. Some had stains of wine or ash. I was shocked.

"Johnny?" I asked as I walked out.
"Mhm?" He didn't even looked at me.
"What-. What are you doing?" I asked and he looked at me. He lost weight. A lot. His cheekbones were very toned. He had eye bags. He had an undercut. Clean shaved. His face had not a single hair. But he got thin. And that was what made me worry.

"Smoking." He responded.
"Weed?" I asked and he did nothing.
"I don't think it's a good Idea that you came today. I have a really bad day." He told me. And now I heard that he was drunk too.
"But-. You told me to come over." I answered.
"Yeah. But I was okay. And then... you see."
"Can I do something for you?" I asked him.
"Nothing left to help." He mumbled. I sighed. I went inside his kitchen and filled up a glass of water for him.

"Here. Drink something." I told him. He just held his hand up.
"I drank enough today."
"How much did you drink?"
"A bottle. I don't know." He told me and I looked through the window inside again.
"A bottle of what? Water?" I asked and pointed at the empty alcohol bottles.
"Nah. Vodka." He said dry.
I sat down on the other chair.

"Do you want to tell me why you are doing this to yourself?" I asked him. He out out the joint an looked at me.
"Actually. No." He said and I sighed and felt my eyes tearing up.
"I know that is the last thing you want to hear right now. But you look terrible Johnny. Have you looked into the mirror. Have you seen what you have done to yourself?" I asked him but I got not a single reaction.
"That was not how I imagined our meeting." I told him.
"Can I have the water?" He asked and I gave him the glass. Johnny took a few sips and placed it on the little table.
"I am tired. Of myself." He said.
"I am tired of everything and everyone. I lost my jobs. I lost my life. I lost everything. Everything what was worth living for. I told her that I will not give up on myself. But I am at a point, where I am giving up on myself."
I felt a tear running down my cheek.
"Don't." I whispered.
"What is is worth living for on this fucking planet? Nothing." He said a bit louder.
"Your Kids. Lily Rose. Jack. Your friends. Your Music. Your art. And I would not be fine either." I told him.
"Your family. Your music. Your empathy. It's worth living."
"But I don't see it anymore. I don't see family. I don't see friends. I don't see art, music or what the fuck else. I don't see you anymore. I am already fucking dead inside." Johnny mumbled and he looked at me.
"I feel nothing."
"But I do. And it hurts me to see you like this." I whispered and he nodded.
"See. I am just hurting people and myself. So what." He sighed.
"Listen. Yes it hurts to see you like this. But do you know why? Because I care for you Johnny. Because I want that you are fine." I said and placed my hand on his arm. His view wandered on my hand.
"I want to die." He repeated.
"I don't want to see.- I don't want to see you." He said a bit louder.
"Leave."
"Johnny I-."
"No. Just. Leave."
I took a deep breath.
"Okay." I whispered and stood up.