Like a drug | A Johnny Depp Fanfiction [Complete]

7. Fear of...

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Chapter 7.
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I was scared to death. Fear of being betrayed again. Fear of violence. Fear of being not enough. Fear of being hurt. Fear of being lost and the fear of being heartbroken.
I was really falling for the dude, my best friend styled. And It ready hurt. Johnny dif not hide that he likes me. But I am still afraid of being not enough.

Two hours passed and I called Ray.

Hey what's up?

Do you have time?

What's wrong baby?

Can you come over?

I'm on my way. I'll be there.

I tried to calm myself down somehow. With watching a series. A movie or doodling around. But nothing helped. I flinched as I heard my doorbell. I opened the door and Immediately hugged my best friend.

"Oh no. What's wrong?" She asked and hugged me tight. She got out of the hug to put out her Jacket and shoes. That we went into the livingroom and sat down.

"Okay. Relax now." She told me and I took a deep breath.
"You haven't smoked right?" She asked and I shook my head while another tear found it way out of my eye.
"I am scared." I told her.
"Of what?"
"I was in the park today to take some pictures for my website. And Johnny saw me. They took me with them."
"They are who?"
"Marilyn and Johnny." I told her and sobbed.
"Marilyn Manson?" She asked and I nodded.
"It was such a nice evening. We laughed so much. And as I said goodbye, and Johnny and I hugged.-" I started to cry again
"I had butterflies." I whispered and she just hugged me.

Ray knows my whole story. Every detail. And she knows how much it terrified me to fall in love. She knows of every fear of mine. She knows me better than I do.
"Let it all out." Ray whispered and moved her hand my back up and down. Then my doorbell rang again.

"Are you still expecting someone?" She asked me and I shook my head. I stood up and opened the door. As I saw who was standing there, with my backpack and my camera I started crying even more.
"What is wrong?" He asked me.
"Oh. Shit." I heard a chuckling from the livingroom.
"Come on. Go inside." Ray was pushing me inside again. I went into the livingroom.
"She left that in my trunk and I was on my way home. So I thought I just pass by. But I didn't expected that." I heard Johnny.
"Is she alright?"
"She will be. Little crisis." She told him. Yeah. Little crisis. Good words.
"Okay. Uhm. Take care of her okay?" He told her and then the door closed.

She placed my bags on the floor and tried to calm me down again. But this time it was even worse.

I didn't wanted him to see me like that. The worst thing was that I was crying because of him. But fortunately he can't read minds.
"Okay pookie. We are watching a movie now. Nothing romantic. What about a funny movie?" She asked me and I nodded. I just typed funny movie in Prime. Who would type something like that? I clicked the first movie that was on the screen.
"I don't think that is a good Idea." She chuckled.
"Why?" I asked.
"Johnny played the main role."
"I don't care."
"You want to watch Mortdecai. Where Johnny plays the main role. While being in love with him? And crying because of that?" She asked and I nodded. I placed my head on her shoulder and we just watched it. It actually distracted me. And it was funny, so two good things. But everytime Johnny was on the screen, I needed to think of him even more. His eyes. His body. I really wondered, how he feels like. But at the other hand I was afraid.

I fell asleep while we watched the movie. Fortunately.

As I woke up I was laying on the couch and another movie was playing. Ray fell asleep aswell.
But it was already the next day. I just stood up and took a shower. Then I checked my phone and noticed that it was already eleven.
"Ray!" I yelled.
"Wake up." I said a bit quieter as I went over to her.
"Didn't you told me that you have that meeting at twelve?" I asked her and she nodded while she stretched herself.
"It's already eleven." Her face froze and she sprinted into the bathroom.
"Why didn't you woke me up earlier!" She yelled.
"I just took a shower and then looked at the time!"
"Oh my lord. I look like a chicken nugget. This shit is important." She cried.

I opened up my balcony door and lit up a cigarette. While I just wanted to relax, my phone rang. It was Johnny.

Hey Johnny. What's up?

Hey, uhm. I just wanted
To ask if you feel better
Than yesterday.

Yeah I am thank you.

I needed to laugh a bit. That he saw me like that, was really weird. But as he said. Nothing is weirder than a fish with legs.

Okay that's good. I was actually
A bit worried about you.
As I saw you like that. But
if Ray hadn't been there.
I would be more worried.

No really I am okay again.
I just had a little breakdown
yesterday. I don't know
where that came from.

I have that sometimes too.
If you need to cry
you need to let the tears out.
Keeping them hurts even more.

You got a good point there.

Okay. I just wanted to check
Up on you. Are you still
okay with two this afternoon?

I am.

Okay, I see you then.

Yeah. See you Johnny.

I thought about just telling him, that I am so wasted from last night, but that wasn't true. And I didn't wanted to lie to him. I mean I just did, with telling him that I am fine. And that I am fine with the meeting today. But I will see what will happen.

Ray just gave me a quick kiss on the cheek as she ran out of the appartment. Then I was alone with myself until two.

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Reminder that English is not my native language. So don't be rude (::::

Okay now I stan drunk and crying Sadie.