"It's Peter. Peter Stark." || a Trans Peter Parker fic

Chapter 31

Peter- March 24th 2017

I walk the long way back to the abandoned building from school, I suppose I could start calling it home, though. It's warm out, with spring coming fast the weather has been improving greatly. It's about damn time too, you know how much even 40 degree weather sucks to be in as a spider?

I don't look forward to going back to the lonely place I now call home. I've been taking the long route everyday lately. Ned offers to walk with me some days but I often deny- I don't need to get him involved into my sob story. MJ has been trying to find out what's wrong with me lately- she doesn't know I ran away yet. I frankly don't want her to know, she'd only try to convince me to go back. Maybe she'd be right. Maybe that's the reason I don't want to tell her because I know she'd be able to convince me to see them again.

I see the building in the flesh, it's not far from the school so I suppose any way I take will be fairly quick walking distance. I notice that there's movement inside and quickly get tense. I feel my hairs stand tall on the back of my neck and my heart starts beating 3 times faster. I walk steadily and slowly towards the entrance. I cling to the wall trying not to be seen by whoever could be inside. I look carefully through one of the holes in the wall and see a familiar face... my dad.

I drop my defenses and take a sigh of relief and walk inside. "Dad?" I say hesitantly, "What are you doing here?"

He turns to face me, he smiles wide with tears in his eyes. "Hi Petey." He opens his arms in an offering hug. I look away showing denial. Why is he here? Hadn't I made my point clear?

He looks to the floor in disappointment, "I suppose I deserve that."

Maybe he does, but I feel he doesn't. All of this is my fault. I don't want to hug him because I don't want to get close to him and ruin him more than I already have. I don't want to get brought back to the tower. I don't want to ruin my family's lives anymore.

He walks over to the bed and takes a seat at the bottom left corner of it, the corner closest to me. "Come take a seat Peter... please it's been ten days."

"Pops lasted weeks without talking to me, I think you'll be fine." I say a littler harsher than I wanted to.

"Peter." He says sternly.

"Just... just go." I say solemnly.

"Peter I'm not leaving you again!" He yells, probably louder than he meant to. I hear his voice shake and he's about to cry I know it. "I abandoned you. I know that. Please just come back home.

"I can't go back there... I only caused hurt. You all know you're better off without me."

"None of us are better off without you Peter, you're the light of the compound and the tower!" His voice shakes even more and sobs start breaking through. He's really going for 'Dad of the Year' act.

"If I'm the light then how come all I ever felt was trapped there? How come all I ever felt was this sadness around every hallway? How come I didn't feel happy at all after I came out? There was a void there dad, and I couldn't fill it. The void was me. The old me that I couldn't be anymore. I can't live like that anymore dad! I can't do that to myself and I can't do that to everyone there!"

"No one is asking you to go back to being Paige! Peter you are my son, I would never ask you to pretend to be my daughter. Neither would anyone else at the tower."

"Pops would!" I scream.

He goes radio silent and looks at the floor. "Pops isn't there anymore Pete..."

I clench my fist, "Yeah right, like you'd ever leave him. You still love it dad. I know that and you know that too. No matter how horrible the things he's done are, you still love him and want him next to you at night. When he kicked me out you still slept at the tower with him. The nights he slept on the couch, you still got up every hour to check on him. You still admire him the same amount you did when you married him. He'll always be your first choice."

"Peter that's not true!" He defends. "Okay, yes. I did still sleep at the tower when he kicked you out. Yes I did check on him every night when he slept on the couch. But I won't choose him over you Peter. I know he won't accept you. So I sacrificed for that... I just want you to come home."

"Where is Pops staying at now, dad?" I ask still not moving from my stance a few feet away from him.

"I can't tell you that, son."

"He's at one of your empty storage buildings, isn't he?" I ask annoyed.

"Peter... he needed at least somewhere to live, you have to understand that."

"Got it. So you let your son live on the streets but give the dead beat dad a roof over his head. Nice to know, Dad of the year."

"Peter that's not what it's like and you know it." He gets up from his spot on the couch and tries walking closer to me. I take the same amount of steps away. He stops once he realizes I'm not going to budge.

"No dad... the truth is that even though you accept me, you still love the man who can't look his son in the eyes without anger. The truth is that you didn't call me, or even bother to text me after I ran away. The truth is that you were preoccupied finding your abusive husband a five star hotel to stay at, that the idea that your son might be hurt didn't cross your mind. The truth is that you didn't care until it became convenient for you." Tears swell in my eyes,, "I think it's time you leave, Dad."

He starts to walk out, I back away from him as he does. "Just... on the tote there's a folder. It's a job at the tower, working in the lab. If you want it it's yours... or I can buy you an apartment. If you don't want to come home fine, at least let me get you off the streets."

"Just go."

He sighs and walks out into the street and disappears in the crowd. I walk over to my bed and collapse on it. What am I doing?

Published: 06/20/22

Words: 1,150