[EDITING UNDERGOING] ♡𝑮𝒐𝒐𝒅 𝑶𝒍𝒅-𝑭𝒂𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒆𝒅 𝑳𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝑩𝒐𝒚♡

23 || Here Comes a Thought

A/N: *still refuses to proofread and makes it future me's problem*
Random thing- I finished Centaurworld. I stan Zulius.

~

Freddy welcomed you into his room and gestured for you to sit on the couch.

It was odd how whenever you entered his green room, a sense of comfort would wash over you.

You sat on the couch and leaned on the giant Freddy plush, while the animatronic sat on the other end of the furniture.

"You may start whenever."

"Ok well... I don't really wanna go into detail on what I went through but uh- to get an idea, it wasn't very good. A lot of mental and physical abuse, and self-worth draining at an alarming rate. I've been called stupid for so long that I couldn't even keep track of it anymore and I feel like I'll n-never amount to anything because I lack talent and I just.. I wanted to find a place where I just can escape everything, you know? Somewhere where I can let out all my frustrations or- or-- cry as much as I want without anyone judging me or telling me how I'm a waste of human life. I tried to get help from teachers about my well-being but they didn't listen. They probably thought it was some excuse to get out of school work since I wasn't exactly the best student... And I obviously couldn't go to my mom for help since she was one of the main problems on my health." you shakily inhaled before continuing, "I-I didn't understand why I couldn't concentrate, memorize, or recall details in lectures like normal people. Hell, it was a miracle that I was even able to graduate from college and get scores that were high enough to prevent me from taking extra classes... sometimes I think the thing that drove me to excel was to give April a better future or to prove to those that doubted me that I could finish school. After I graduated, the harsh realization hit me-- the adults that I trusted to keep me safe...failed to do so." you looked at Freddy for a brief moment and immediately averted your gaze, feeling the tears building up in your eyes.

"Four to five years ago, I tried going to psychotherapy. I gotta say, nobody told me that the healing process would be painful. Having to relive those traumatic events and learning to accept that it happened to me. Honestly... I'm still in the process of healing." you trailed off and started fiddling with your fingers.

"Some days I would blame myself for being the reason my mom did bad things to me and April or some days I would... I would compare my trauma with those who had a similar experience as me a-and seeing how much better they are at recovering than I am, makes me think that I'm doing something wrong!" you chuckled bitterly as you ran a hand through your hair, "I still get nightmares, flashbacks, and some intrusive thoughts, but I'm getting better at staying optimistic! I now surround myself with people who positively impact my life and I think I'll be okay."

The animatronic waited to see if you would add anything else before he spoke.

"It must have been difficult for you to tell me all of that."

"Yeah but uh... I heard that it's healthy to talk to someone about how I feel and I trust that you'll keep this little chat between us."

"Would it be alright if I shared my input?"

"Sure, I guess?" you mumbled.

"Y/N, when you are talking about a traumatic event, it is something that changes the way the human brain functions. How you respond to what you have gone through is 100% reasonable because it is your life and your experience. Your trauma is valid. You should not compare yours with others. Not everyone responds to trauma the same way. It is not your fault that the events that led up to that traumatic moment happened. You have most likely heard it from your therapists but from what you told me about the bad things that happened in your past, there was nothing you could do about it. You mentioned that you had to 'relive' those bad memories, correct? Well, those people who were helping you knew what they were doing. They wanted you to realize and be honest with yourself on how bad it was in order for you to move on."