Temptation

Chapter 84

He took a pause and continued.

"But I am not here to lament on my past. It is a waste of time. While I stand on this stage, I just have one piece of advice for you. As you go along with your life, you may do whatever you want with it. You may reject it or you may take it with heart. Nothing in this life is eternally sacred. No one will tell it to you straight up, but I will. Your life is just mere spending time on this earth. All of us will be gone in no time, and no matter how we try to suppress it. The truth will always be death is part of the natural order of this world for eternity. You may have heard it over and over, but don't you ever hold back. Do as you please on this floating rock while keeping your consciousness pure cause nothing is worse than being guilty your whole life. Your heart and mind will set different paths before you. You will be the one to choose the one that aligns with your consciousness. You're young and you'll come out of those gates with the knowledge you desired, but it isn't life. You barely know life and when it hit you. You will wish you learned the meaning of life while you were here."

"I won't take much of your time. I just have one more thing to say. Enjoy your life. Don't be afraid to explore anything you can without regret. Travel, learn, train, explore friendship...love."

He looked at me. The crowd exclaimed amusement. I lit on fire on my chair. God, I was so red; I felt burning.

"You will fail. Oh, no matter who you are and the amount of money you have, you will fail, and I promise you, you will hit rock bottom hard! You can't control around you and how other people will treat you. All that will matter is how you control your reactions and what you make of it. May your tongue be wise, and every step you forge your path of success. I'll see you on the other side class of 2021." He raised his cap, followed by the graduate, screaming with their lung with honor and excitement.

It was my turn to speak. The director introduced me. My thighs and hands were sweaty. I took a deep breath. Julian smiled to reassure me, but my heart was pounding in my head. I needed to make up something, yet my head was blank. It was bad to skip the rehearsals. I walked my way to the lectern shakily. For the first time in my life, I felt like I was about to fall in my high heels.

The hollers calmed down. I took another deep breath. "I did not prepare for this speech today. It's not that I forgot, but I just lack words to write on a piece of paper and read it in front of you." I lied. I had to make up something and not make myself look bad. The tone of my voice was trembling a bit, but not enough to knock out my confidence.

"This morning when I woke up, I thought of one thing only. Not the diploma, not the graduation ceremony, or the years I accomplished. I thought only of my dad. All those achievements are meaningless without him being here. That's what my younger self would say. But when I look at this empty seat, I preserve for him..." I close my eyes to fight the tears.

"All I can say is I did it, dad."

For the millionth time at this ceremony, they cheered.

"I wish he was here because maybe I wouldn't grow up with such a meager life. I never spoke out, and I think it is time the world knows what I am thinking. I am sure all of you here, heard and know about the stories. So hear me out world! Yes, they are true! Yes, my mother, as you know, as one of the biggest fashion designers of this century, is the mastermind behind my father's and Mark's death. She is the one that sent Shawn Perez to kill me inside those walls. Who, I will not honor today, because I don't care how many people are going to lie to you and tell you he is a great person because he is dead, but he is not. He was not a good person at all. At fifteen, he dated me and when I decided I needed to dismiss this relationship because of how toxic and violent it was, he molested me. He made me drunk, raped me in my sleep, filmed it, and blackmailed me to shut me up. It worked. I stayed mute and suppress my feelings because I believed I was nothing but a mere froth with power that no one loved. But this is not me today. Just like Julian said, do things that your conscience agrees with because his conscience got to him first. But I'll always say, hope he Rested In Peace."