Broken Bodies, Severed Feelings (Erwin x OC)

|48| Alarm

Nathalie picked herself up on wobbly feet and she made her way to the door. She could have sworn she had heard someone knock. No. Nathalie hesitated to open the door. No, she couldn't face anybody right now. Some time alone. She just needed to be alone for now. She needed to curl up beneath the comfortable warm covers of her bed and she wanted to sleep. She wanted to sleep and never wake up. Yes, that's what she needed.

Nathalie took a step away from the door and she pulled her hand back. She couldn't. She shook her head. She couldn't face anyone whoever that was, knocking on her door. Nathalie wrapped her robe around her body just a little tighter and she shut her eyes. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. She turned around to leave, to go back to her bedroom and lie down again. She needed rest. Her hands shook. She needed rest.

"Nathalie... I just want to see if you're alright,"

It was Erwin's voice. Nathalie stopped from walking any further away and her heart fluttered at the sound of his voice. He was really checking up on her? He cared? How could he still care? She was the one who had taken the life of his child.

Nathalie pressed her weight on the wall to the side and a soundless sob snuck up her throat. She buried her face in her hands and she wiped away immediately the tears that had started to gather. How was she supposed to face him? How?

Erwin looked at her closed door. He sighed heavily. He didn't know whether he had done something wrong this time and she wasn't answering the door, but he had been through a lot the past few days. She was the only comfort he had, and there was no denying that. But she wasn't going to open the door. He turned around to leave but she opened the door just in time. She was dressed in one of her white silky nightgowns. She had thrown her robe on top of her, tying it tightly around her waist with a sash. Her hair was messy. Her swollen eyes were enough of an indication to let him know that she had been crying, but he couldn't tell why.

She gasped. A hand reached up to cover her gaping mouth. "E- Erwin... your arm..." He was missing an arm. Hair messy, and unshaved face. He looked tired. He was a mess. Tears gathered in her eyes again. She wrongfully accused him.

"Erwin has been asking for you," Miche had said.

"Tell him to stop asking for me,"

How could she say that? How could she deny him right now that he seemed like he needed her the most? Nathalie let him in, and she closed the door behind her, and his one arm slipped around her right away and brought her close to him. He buried his face in the crook of her neck and her shoulder. He shut his eyes and he drew in her scent. He nuzzled in her warmth and her fingers found his hair, scratching gently and wrapping her arms around his shoulders. Nathalie wept and held him tight. He could no longer pick her up like he usually would.

And then the guilt started creeping up on her. It was too much. Nathalie had accused him so much in her mind, her thoughts. She had so easily ignored that this man had so many things to deal with. How could she do that? How dare she? How could she still say she loved him when she had done something so, so, so horrible? She had taken the life of his child and she had accused him for it whilst he didn't even know about it.

There were so many things wrong with her. So many things wrong. Nathalie had to make up for it. She had to be there for him. She had to. She had to compensate. But he looked so tired. He held her close like this for a while and she loved every second of it because it felt real. It felt like he wanted to hold her. It felt like he needed her.

Nathalie found the shoulder of his left, bitten off arm and she examined the bandaged wound gently with her fingers. "I'll fix this..." Nathalie sniffled and she pulled back to cup his rough cheek and look at him with shiny blue eyes filled with tears that she wiped away with her hand before cupping his cheek. "...I'll fix this, I swear, you're gonna be okay," She ran her fingers across his rough cheeks and his blue eyes met her own. She brushed his messy golden hair away from his forehead and she sucked in a breath to force herself to stop crying. He must have been in pain. He must have been in so much pain. He must have been so exhausted and she could see it in his eyes. "You're gonna be okay, my love, my sweet man..." he pressed his forehead against her own and closed his eyes tiredly. She caught his hand and took him to her bedroom. "...you need to lie down, I'll take care of you, just rest-"