Broken Bodies, Severed Feelings (Erwin x OC)

|45| Choke

"No," Erwin turned it down sharply. "You're staying here. I need you,"

Nathalie huffed. "But it's boring here," She looked at him, all unphased and distracted with his paperwork. He didn't even pay a look at her since the moment she barged into his office unannounced.

Nathalie had been so blunt lately. She didn't really seem to care about anything. She experimented so well on her new titan test subjects and whilst Hange was crying like a maniac whilst hurting them, Nathalie seemed to have drawn some kind of sick satisfaction from it. But there was no saying how effective she had been. Nathalie had given him ideas about his plans and his strategies that he hadn't explored before. She had managed to convince him that all those soldiers that had died under his command, they had consensually done it. There was nothing to be guilty about. He was just doing his job as a Commander. Maybe wasting a few more lives was not much of a problem. Nathalie was already working out a plan to overthrow the king, and Erwin had to admit that it was fucking brilliant.

But she had stopped to care. She didn't care about anything. They would fuck like animals, and she didn't seem to seek for his affection, his kisses, his touches. No, it was all just carnal pleasure, and she was out of his office the second it was done. She had changed. She really had. Sometimes he wondered whether that woman was really the same woman that he knew.

"You don't need me. You can handle a few weeks without a fuck," Nathalie shrugged, and he sighed.

Yes. Blunt. She had never been so blunt in her life, and he knew it and he found it so weird and odd. He couldn't explain it. "Miche can handle looking after the 104th for a few weeks, and you-"

"I could use some time away from you," Nathalie laughed, and he pulled his attention away from the paperwork and he looked up at her at that look on her face that was so, so, sickeningly genuine.

Did she really mean that? It didn't really look like she cared about his reaction to her words. It didn't look like she cared whether it hurt him or not to tell him that. She didn't care. It was that simple. But Nathalie used to care. Nathalie used to chase after every chance she could get to spend an extra second with him. Nathalie would stay up till so very late in the nights, falling asleep on his shoulder, just because she wanted to be there with him.

What the hell had happened to her? Did they do something to her when they abducted her?

"Love comes and goes, darling,"

Or maybe it was just that. Maybe she just fell out of love for him, and she indeed no longer cared. And there was no way that he was going to show how much that saddened him.

"Fine," Erwin said, turning his attention back on the paperwork and pretending to be unphased by all of this, even though he wasn't. "Dismissed,"

"Want a last fuck before I leave?" Nathalie asked halfway the door and he sighed heavily once more.

"Just leave,"

Nathalie shrugged before walking out the room and closing the door behind. It was almost too easy to ignore it – that small part of her that was trying to break free. The part that Erwin would recognise. Just a weak little woman trying to break free from the confines of her mind. Just a worthless woman that could do nothing but watch her other self whilst she destroyed everything. She destroyed whatever she had with Erwin. She destroyed those fundamental things that made Nathalie who she was. That gentleness was gone and replaced with cruelty and violence, and impulsiveness.

But maybe it was a better, flawless, more effective version of herself. Nathalie made her way to her room to pack her stuff. She was riding outside of Trost and to the outskirts of Wall Rose in mere minutes. She wanted to get away. She could not deny it. She wanted to escape. For a little while at least.