Sister Cities

Part 3: Jinx

Break my soul in two looking for you

But you're right here

If I can't relate to you anymore

Then who am I related to?

~

They told me "Kill what's killing you," but now I'm all alone

________________________________________________________________________________

"You've scared off everyone." ("Everyone everyone everyone everyone everyone everyone.")

"Don't. No, I haven't."

"Right." ("Right right right.") "You've killed off some of them too."

"No. Don't. Don't say that."

Mylo leans down over me. "Why? It's true."

Liar. Liar. He doesn't know. "Shut up."

"Vander, Claggor, me, and now Silco. And Vi knows you're crazy. You thought she wouldn't know?"

"I had to."

"No, you chose to." ("Chose to chose to.") "Everything you do, you choose."

Liar liar liar liar. Shut up shut up shut up, shut up shut up shut up. He doesn't know.

"Nice job, Jinx."

"Shut up. Shut up! Don't call me that—"

"Powder?"

"Shut up!"

Mylo's face winks out and is replaced by Vi's, not quite so close to mine, and something squeezes my hand. "Powder. Powder, it's okay, it's just me—"

She's not real. She wouldn't be here. She wouldn't call me Powder. "Shut up and leave me alone!"

I curl my fingers around the thing on my hand and scratch at it with my nails. It jumps off, but when I try to sit up, cold grips my wrists and turns my arms the wrong way. I look and find the glint of metal. She's locked me up again, her and that enforcer— she'll have needles, and she'll set my veins on fire, but it can't be real, but I thought that last time and it was.

I'm stronger this time, so I kick. There's nothing. She tells me to stop, and I follow her voice, sweeping my leg out to the side. Then she's sitting at the end of my table, holding both of my ankles down. There's a sheet covering me like at a morgue. A wobbly feeling runs through my head and down to my feet and I can't kick anymore, so I scream instead.

"Powder," she yells over me. "Stop fighting. Nobody's gonna do anything to you. I'm not doing anything to you. You're safe."

"You're not real! Get out!"

"Of course I'm real! Look around. This is where Ekko lives. I took you here because you're safe here."

Liar liar liar liar. Ekko is dead. I killed him. He would never take me in. It's not real.

"Vi? What's she doing? Do you need help? Everybody's up."

That's Ekko's voice.

"You can come in," Vi says. "Get rid of the others. She's fine."

Wood creaks, and I turn to peek with the corner of my eye. Ekko. She sees him too.

There are no colors, except the ones there are meant to be, and nothing moves besides the two of them. It's all calm.

"See?" Vi says. "You're safe."

It can't be real. I still have cuffs on my wrists. But the thing under me feels too soft to be a table, and her grip on my ankles feels a lot like the thing on my hand before. She wouldn't hold my hand. It can't be real.