Beyond Saturation

L

1 August 2016

A week passed by. Taehyung didn't bother to answer any of the calls that he received until then. The only time he talked was when he had called Yoongi and asked him to keep Junha for the entire week. Said he wasn't feeling well and that it would be best if Junha stayed with them for a week or so. 

Hoseok and Yoongi had volunteered to come and help take care of him, but he strictly refused to let them in, saying he didn't want his germs to carry. He said it would be a great help if they took care of Junha alone. 

After that, he didn't answer any calls. He didn't talk to anyone. Not even his husband. He became a walking, cooking, barely functioning vegetable. A vegetable worthy of feeling no emotion in itself. 

Jeongguk woke up every morning, hit him for some or the other reason that made no sense anymore (not that Taehyung bothered to think about the reason anymore), and then left for work. 

Taehyung just spent the entire time staring at the wall listlessly, until an hour before his husband would come back when he would get off the couch to cook dinner, which his husband never ate the entire week. 

He always came back home drunk and hit him more. Well, two days ago, he brought Aera home for another threesome. For all the protests that Taehyung had put up that night, he had ended up sobbing on the bed with his back burning from all the whippings that he had received from Jeongguk's belt. Oh, and a black eye and a swollen cheek.

Now, he didn't feel anything anymore. 

He had no feelings or emotions anymore. 

He was beyond saturated now. 

He didn't know where he got the courage from, but the previous night, he had gathered up the courage to tell Jeongguk something important. He knew it wouldn't end well, not when Jeongguk was drunk (or high, he didn't know the difference anymore), but he knew he wouldn't get a chance again. 

~~~~~~~~~~~

31 July 2016

Just like every other night, Jeongguk returned home drunk, smelling of Aera's perfume, and just like every other night, Taehyung didn't pay any attention to it. 

He just concentrated on what he was going to say. He had made up his mind, after all. He wasn't going to live like this. Not anymore. If he fought hard enough, then maybe he would get Junha to himself under parental custody. Then he would be able to take better care of him without any worries. 

As usual, Jeongguk said he didn't want food, and settled on the couch. This time, however, Taehyung didn't wake him up for food. He woke him up to say something. 

Jeongguk got up and walked to the kitchen, but Taehyung didn't care about it. He followed him determinedly. He took a deep breath and finally uttered the words that he had secretly been wanting to say for quite a few years now.

"I want a divorce."

Jeongguk froze in his tracks with his eyes widened. "What?" he whispered as he turned around to face Taehyung. "What did you just say?"

Taehyung gulped and took a step back involuntarily, fearing what was going to come, flinching hard when it did come.

"FINE, LET'S DIVORCE!! NOT THAT I'M DYING TO LIVE WITH YOU ANYWAY!!" Jeongguk yelled with his eyes reddened in anger.

Taehyung took a deep breath again, this time of relief. If his husband went according to his words, then he would finally be able to breathe.

He would finally be able to live.

A burst of sudden laughter brought him out of his little happy world. His eyes widened as he stared at his husband. He didn't know what to make of the laugh. It was totally out of context, after all. Thus, fisting his trembling hands, he waited for Jeongguk to clarify. 

"You thought I would say that?" Jeongguk asked and suddenly, that devilish glint was back in his eyes. "You thought I would say that, huh?" Jeongguk threw his head back and laughed again. "How naive," he said and snapped his head towards Taehyung so fast that Taehyung took a sharp breath in fear. 

"You're stuck with me for this lifetime," Jeongguk said with a chuckle, "you will only get a divorce if I sign the paper as well, isn't it?" he asked, his eyes shining madly with a look that Taehyung didn't even want to think about. "I'll never do it," he whispered with a smirk that could only match the evilness of Hitler. 

Taehyung gulped hard, not knowing what to say. He didn't have to stay thinking for long however, because the slap that followed didn't take long to land on his cheek, forming a solid cut on his already swollen cheekbone. 

It hurt like a bitch, of course, but Taehyung had no option but to take everything. It didn't mean he didn't protest, because like every night, he cried, sobbed and begged Jeongguk to stop, but it was as if Jeongguk drank energy from his begging. It was as if the more he begged, the more it fuelled Jeongguk's desire to hurt him. 

"You dare to think of divorcing me, huh?! Where did you get that dare from?! Was it that motherfucker, your brother?! Or your good for nothing father?! Of course, it wouldn't be my own brother!! TELL ME WHO WAS IT!!"

Taehyung kept his mouth tightly shut, determined not to utter a word other than begging Jeongguk to stop. He didn't want to get his brother in trouble, after all. He was going through enough. He didn't need to drag his brother into it as well. 

But he was sure his brother wouldn't be as pathetic as he was. He was sure his brother would fight back and maybe even land a few solid punches on Jeongguk's face. 

Oh, how he wished he had that courage as well. 

Oh, how he wished he would be able to fight back instead of taking all the beatings like the pathetic wimp that he was. 

Oh, how he wished he at least had the courage to end all of this with the one way that he knew existed for everyone who wished to escape. 

Oh, how he wished....

He lost his consiousness.