Memories | Dazai X Reader

Eighteen • Had It Once

"Get some sleep, Ango."

• • •

And as if it was some miracle, Ango does actually get some sleep–even if he still remains sleep deprived.

It's progress.

As night falls in Yokohama, Oda leaves work, Chuuya comes back home from his long drive, and you and Dazai...

The two of you had ordered take-out which was nothing new. There wasn't as much silence that was in the room today, though. Dazai felt more comfortable with small-talk and he engaged more in the discussion.

It's progress.

Dazai himself finds it weird how it's only around you that he can't talk properly with. Chuuya and Oda? That was easy, it wasn't too difficult to catch on previous habits. Ango? A strong start that he hopes he can keep.

It's more so funny to him, actually.

A grin spreads on his lips while just thinking about it.

"What?" you ask, taking another bite of your food. He looks up, staring back at you like a deer in headlights, confused.

Or acting confused.

Because after the last conversation, or the last whatever even happened. Dazai nor you spoke about it, leaving it like it's just a random piece of dust to fly away.

Where does dust even go? It simply lingers around.

He chuckles softly, "Nothing, nothing."

Dazai covers his mouth for a second as he chews, like he's about to say something. He swallows, looking back up at you. "When are we going?" he asks, finishing his food.

"We could start getting ready once we both finish," you say, smiling because you also just finished your food–or finished eating as much as you wanted. He smiles back, standing up from the chair.

He starts walking to the bedroom, but suddenly stops in front of the door, turning back to look at you. "Any dress code?" he asks, leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed. "Nope. Just don't wear anything fancy, we're trying to be comfortable on the ground," you say while walking towards him.

"Good reasoning," he breathes out, rubbing the back of his neck. It's rough because of the bandages, he notes uneasily. You note the uneasiness in his voice, and that's scary because you don't know what he's thinking.

Normally you would, but it's just this Dazai–

God.

Just yesterday, you had talked with Chuuya and Oda over the phone about Dazai. He was in the bathroom taking a shower at the time. They wanted to have a brief discussion regarding Mori and Dazai, and the two of them also wanted to check in on how you were doing.

• • •

"It's getting better, I think," you tell them.

"How's he feeling?" Chuuya asks, and the faint noise of tapping comes from his end of the call. "I also think he's okay. I don't know, if I'm being honest. I don't always know what the right thing to say is," you say, guilt washing over you.

You want Dazai to feel like he belongs here, that he isn't some sort of burden that's just here. It's just so hard to do that when it feels like you're at step one again.

And Dazai already knows a lot about that–even if he would never say it outloud.

"I don't think you should treat him like he's fragile," Oda says, staring up at his ceiling with his phone pressed to his ear. "Come on, we both know that she's not doing that," Chuuya says.

"I'm just pointing out the facts, it's a good reminder," Oda informs, "after all he's been through, he wouldn't want to be treated like that."

"I know I would hate to be treated like something fragile after that–" Chuuya says.

"—And Dazai's like that," Oda continues on what Chuuya was saying, "he'd snap, you don't want him to leave that apartment again, would you?"

And admittedly that does sting just a bit.

"He's not going to," you convince them, "we're talking and he's more open. It's progress."

• • •

Right, it's progress.

It's progress, right?

As the two of you slip into some comfortable but still presentable clothes, you start to make your way to the door. Dazai chose to wear a plain, regular, black hoodie with jeans. The thought of wearing sweatpants outside in places he's not comfortable doesn't make him feel great–

"You look lovely," he comments, laughing softly. Even if you're wearing the most casual, basic clothes, and even if it sounded like Dazai was joking–he still meant it.

"Shall we go, then?"

A/N: hi ! I'm really sorry about the delay, but I think I might start publishing more often again? There may be delays here and there because I really don't want to rush this story and cut out a bunch of parts. Anyway, I hope everyone's doing okay. This is also really late, but I actually posted an Ango X Reader one shot so feel free to check that out cause it'd mean a lot.