Memories | Dazai X Reader

Two • Severity

"Chuuya, Oda, [Y/N]."

• • •

"Is it selfish?" Chuuya asks, and neither you nor Oda turn to look at him.

After leaving the hospital, the three of you had decided to go to Bar Lupin just to settle down. It's not that all of it was massively heavy—after all, Dazai is alive. It's just that...he has no memories before and of the accident.

"Yes, it is," Oda replies almost immediately with no hesitation. He's holding his glass in his hand but not making any move to take a sip of it as he stares down at the table in front of him. "How?" Chuuya accidentally blurts out before letting himself process what Oda had said.

"If you mean Dazai not remembering any of his trauma," Oda starts again, turning his head to make eye contact with Chuuya, "then yes, it is selfish."

He knows Chuuya wants to say more, to say against it, but before Chuuya gets the chance to start, Oda cuts him off.

"Sure, Dazai hardly remembered trauma before because the brain does not remember pain very well at all. It might be better for him—I understand where you're coming from when you ask—but if he never gets his memory back then he's a completely different person. And—" he turns over to look at you. "—I hate to even say that we might not even get that Dazai back if it's so severe."

All Chuuya can do after that is laugh at the irony of it.

"I guess that's why he never wanted to ask for help, huh?"

"Could be, and it most likely is, but maybe he never thought he could get the help he needed either."

Chuuya scoffs, taking a sip of the wine that is in his glass. "So if we're thinking the worst of the worst, will Dazai remember why he wears those bandages? And if not, are we ever going to explain it to him?"

Both you and Oda pause at that. Though it would be hard to explain, he would deserve to know, right? Because biologically he would still be Dazai.

"He would have to be told."

• • •

Meanwhile, in the hospital, Ranpo is absolutely losing it. He doesn't even know why, but he and Dazai are getting along very well for a person only doing their job.

"Okay, you're done with your tests now," Ranpo announces happily, smiling brightly at Fukuzawa. Fukuzawa rolls his eyes in response—he secretly enjoys seeing Ranpo like this but he would never say it out loud. Besides, Ranpo already knows by now anyway.

"Good, when I can know how bad everything is?" Dazai chuckles, not knowing what else to do in this situation. Ranpo hums for a moment, hand under his chin as if he's contemplating whether he should say something or not. Fukuzawa simply stares blankly, already knowing what Ranpo is going to do—

"Right now!"

Fukuzawa slaps a hand over his forehead because obviously that isn't the professional way to tell someone their results, specifically if they are—

"You've lost basically all memories," Ranpo tells him, and Dazai's eyes widen a bit in shock because as much as he knew that whatever happened to him was bad, he didn't know that it would be this bad.

"In short, you have retrograde amnesia. Which is when you lose any existing, already made memories," Fukuzawa explains. "We'll have your friends and girlfriend pick you up tomorrow. Since it's already late at night, we wouldn't want to trouble them anymore."

Which, is kind of stupid since Dazai wants to go home—where ever that is supposed to be—

"Ranpo, keep him company until he gets tired of you. I need to check on the other patients," Fukuzawa says, waving them both off before closing the door.

"You don't look like you want to sleep yet so I'll stay here," Ranpo laughs, bringing a chair up to the bed. "You're eighteen, right?"

Dazai seems hesitant for a second before nodding his head, "I am. Shouldn't you know that information?" Cause to Dazai, it doesn't seem like Ranpo was just asking to try and help him remember something.

"No one actually looks at that stuff," Ranpo chuckles, and Dazai raises an eyebrow at him because Fukuzawa seriously is right about him. "Okay, well, I don't look at that stuff cause I don't need to," he explains. "I'm actually very smart and it's easy for me to figure things out very quickly."

Dazai scoffs, arms resting by his sides. "I wouldn't be too surprised if you had some sort of power."

"What are you talking about?" Ranpo asks, and when Dazai faces him, he realizes that Ranpo's eyes are open. And that green, emerald-like eyes are staring back at him. "That's ridiculous."

Dazai smiles in response, nodding his head slowly in agreement.

"Oh, and here's your phone," Ranpo says, his eyes once again closed as he tosses a phone at Dazai. He catches it easily and questions how his phone is unlocked. "Your password is your girlfriend's name," Ranpo informs him, acting like he didn't unlock his phone out of curiosity and got his password right on the first try.

The first thing he does is open his gallery, scrolling through the endless pictures the two of you have together and the photos of Chuuya and Oda. It almost hurts to know that Dazai still can't remember the three of you, and all of the photos just seem so—

God, he can't even think of the proper word for it.

He scrolls past one photo but then immediately scrolls back down to click on it to get the full picture. It's simply a picture of the two of kissing, and since it's not a selfie he's wondering who took it—

He swipes to find a picture of a ginger—Chuuya, he recalls—gagging and putting a finger toward his mouth as he takes a photo of himself in an area which seems to be in the same place that you and Dazai were.

Then after endless scrolling, Dazai eventually gets tired. Ranpo questions why Dazai got tired at around four in the morning, but it's not really his problem.

Either way, Dazai gets to go back to a home that doesn't feel familiar the next day.

A/N: I'm trying so hard not to turn this into angst, send help.