Or maybe, it's simply the calm before the storm.
• • •
The two of you don't actually get up right away. Still laying in bed, not wanting to get up just yet as the two of you simply hold each other.
Well, technically, Dazai's holding you as your back is faced towards him, but that's besides the point.
His arm snakes around your waist, pulling you even closer before kissing the back of your head. The rest of that for him is a blur. Dazai spaces out, his mind no longer even in the room. His body movements still tell you that he's here, and it's hard to even tell that Dazai isn't even mentally there if someone wasn't looking straight at him.
Sure, Dazai gets quiet occasionally, but how long did that ever last anyway?
In the end, anything good is always lost no matter how much you don't want to lose it.
And maybe that's harsh for some people. Maybe it's hard to understand that not everything can be perfect, that life wasn't specifically designed for you—
That's hard to understand when you've experienced too much—people have had it worse, people have had it better. So if life wasn't designed, why do different bad things happen to everyone? Was it always my decision? Dazai thinks. Am I truly the only one to blame? If not everyone feels this way, did I do this to myself?
He presses one more kiss on the back of your head, and his grip around you tightens but then immediately loosens.
"We should go," he whispers.
You should go, is what he thinks, is what his mind truly speaks.
He follows you soon after, getting up to get ready for the day and to meet with Chuuya at the shop. Was Oda—Odasaku—going to be there, too? He wonders.
Once the two of you take your turns of getting ready in the bathroom, you stand by the door.
"Are you okay?" you ask him, knowing what he'll respond anyway. "I am," he says, meeting your eyes directly.
He notices the way your shoulders drop a little. "Tell me if something is ever wrong, okay?" you tell him, not pushing him to speak his mind now but rather letting him know that it will be okay.
...Right?
It will be okay.
It will be–
"I will," he responds, "I swear."
Was it wrong to make so many promises?
No matter where things end up, he'll always know that he promised—swore.
• • •
"[Y/N]!" someone calls as soon as you walk into the shop. Who else could it possibly be?
You and Dazai both turn your heads to see a man with ginger hair calling you. He's sitting at a booth with nothing on the table yet.
"You're here early," you say, walking over and sliding into the booth with Dazai. "No," Chuuya says, pointing a finger at you two. "You're the ones that are late. I was considering ordering and leaving," he jokes.
Chuuya might be one of the most punctual people the three of you ever met. That man cares a lot about his time and friends. It doesn't even matter if you four are meeting to just say "hello", Chuuya will always be there right when it's time to be there.
At first, it was a little concerning, and it did help the three of you to actually improve your punctuality. Then after a while, it started to fall apart and no one really tried to be super punctual again.
What's being two or minutes late going to do?
A lot, actually, but that's for further discussion.
"Oda's not coming?" you ask, noticing the empty seat next to Chuuya. Even if Oda's late, he's typically here before you and Dazai are. "No, he was super hungover from last night, but he still went to work," Chuuya informs.
"Wasn't he supposed to be working on his story with Ango?"
"They did, and they were drunk. He told me Ango said he'd bring him a coffee in the morning, so–" Chuuya explains.
It feels a little weird, because truthfully, Dazai's the one who's supposed to be saying all this. It should be him telling you two what Oda had said since they were always a little closer.
Well, Dazai's bonds with everyone change. Him and Chuuya have their own way of closeness, he and Oda—same thing, and you and Dazai...
It was always different, but it worked out for everyone, and it was never like someone liked the other more—
With the exception of your relationship with Dazai, obviously.
A waiter walks up to the table and asks everyone what they would like to have, and once you all order, Chuuya starts the conversation again.
Dazai's listening, but his eyes tend to drift occasionally. It's not that he's trying to avoid eye-contact on purpose, but he's busy examining the cafe as he listens and responds to Chuuya. As he's trying to look for anything familiar, he looks towards the entrance, staring straight ahead.
And right when he looks over in that direction–
A man with a cane is staring right back at him with widened eyes.
A/N: so I made a book playlist (that's still unfinished), but I was wondering if you all would rather wait till the end of the book—whenever or if that will happen—or rather have a book playlist that is constantly updating?
YOU ARE READING
Memories | Dazai X Reader
Fanfiction| One could say that memories keep you alive. And after one brutal night, Dazai loses all of his memories, both good and bad. Then again, how many good memories has Dazai really had? Unfinished, but no longer updating.
