Memories | Dazai X Reader

Three • Freezing Time

Either way, Dazai gets to go back to a home that doesn't feel familiar the next day.

• • •

To say that you were glad to hear the news of Dazai being able to come home was an understatement. Though the news of how severe Dazai's amnesia was...?

Neither one of you wanted to hear that.

Even if Oda and Chuuya were just considering the possibility of something like that happening just the night before—

No one actually expected for it to happen, but in a way it did make things a little lighter. Getting an idea that the possibility of Dazai's memories being affected poorly didn't make it seem like it was too much of a shock.

Now, the three of you once again walk into the hospital to meet Dazai. He's properly dressed—he's wearing what he had worn two weeks ago in the accident, but it's better than hospital clothing in its own way.

He smiles when the three of you enter, greeting you all with your names.

Well, at least there's some sort of progress.

"Okay, he's free to go home," Fukuzawa announces, putting down some of the papers that were in his hand to the side. "Make sure he's comfortable, surround him with things that may seem familiar, try to use familiar phrasings, you get the idea."

"Bye, Dazai!" Ranpo yells suddenly, waving enthusiastically. The voice shocks you all, but Dazai responds in just a good amount of enthusiasm. "Goodbye, Ranpo."

Before the three of you are able to leave, Fukuzawa calls you to stay back with him for a moment.

Great, it all felt like it was going by too quickly.

Once the door closes behind the others, Fukuzawa speaks. "For familiar phrases, I suggest you start the mornings with a key memory of Dazai's—preferably something you were in too. This'll help with trying to see if his amnesia has gotten any better," he explains. "There's no promise that he will remember, but...the least any of you can do is try."

You nod your head slowly in response, trying not to imagine how it'd feel if Dazai never remembers.

After that, Fukuzawa lets you join the rest of them and go home. Silence hits in the room, but it's quickly broken.

"You know, something about this doesn't seem right," Ranpo states, talking with a lollipop in his mouth—he usually keeps some with him just in case.

"What do you mean?"

"I'm saying— none of this seemed like it was an accident," Ranpo gestures his hands out, and Fukuzawa raises an eyebrow. "Are you trying to say that—" but before he can even finish, Ranpo cuts him off and answers. "I'm merely announcing my thoughts, but yes, all of it seems weird and unnatural."

• • •

Once you reach your apartment, and both Chuuya and Oda have said their goodbyes to Dazai, you reach for your keys.

Chuuya and Oda wanted for you to get time to spend time alone with Dazai, and they said that they would try to talk to him tomorrow.

Getting the keys, you unlock the door and watch Dazai step in.

It is sad to see him look around the place with no memory of anything in it.

"I like our couch," he randomly says, running a finger on the material. "Really? You said that it was tacky when we first saw it, but we bought it anyway," you tell him, following up behind him. "Oh, it is," he chuckles, "still weirdly nice, though."

• • •

"And finally, this is our bedroom," you say, ending the tour to your apartment. Even if it wasn't too long of a tour because the apartment isn't the most massive thing in the entire world, it still felt weirdly long. Like it felt extended because the thought of reintroducing a room to someone you've known for so long is odd.

He walks in, taking note of a small picture frame next to the nightstand. He picks it up, staring at it longingly before saying, "you look really pretty in this, [Y/N]."

Fuck.

It seriously shouldn't sting in any way—

Dazai puts the frame back down to where it was before moving to sit down on the edge of the bed. You walk over, sitting next to him for a moment. Then after a few seconds of awkward silence, the two of you lay down, trying to get in any familiar seating.

It almost feels normal when Dazai lays his head on your chest and wraps an arm around you.

"This isn't weird, right?" he asks.

"No, why would it be weird?" you reply, raising an eyebrow at his question. "I mean, I'm technically not myself, right? I don't really remember anything and it must just be really weird for you—"

"It's not," you say, and maybe it's a bit of a lie because it is weird to have your boyfriend lose all of his memories. And it's fair that it's upsetting—

"Do you remember our first date?" you ask, trying to do what Fukuzawa had told you to do. Remembering a key point like that might be something that can spark memory. "...I don't," he replies, voice painfully small.

"Can you tell me what I would normally do?"

You run a hand through his hair, and he instantly melts into the touch. "Well, you're always..." and then you list almost every single thing Dazai did, and he laughs a few times with you. "...you have an incredible obsession with crab."

Another point hits you randomly, and you ponder about whether or not you should tell him—

It seriously wouldn't hurt to say it.

"Oh, and, when you would want a kiss you'd always say 'my lips are cold'."

And God, it always worked.

He laughs especially loud at that, trying to figure out he would even say that and how he even thought of it in the first place.

The two of you then settle down, and it almost feels exactly how it normally did.

Suddenly, he turns his head to look up at you, and you lift your hand off of his head in surprise. Before you can ask him if something's wrong—

"My lips are cold."