Dancing Through Life

Dancing in the Dark

I plug my iPod into my iHome and press play, Avril Lavigne Remember When comes on.

I stand in front of the mirror wall and stare at my reflection.

Remember when I cried to you a thousand times? I told you everything. You know my feelings. It never crossed my mind, that there would be a time for us to say goodbye. What a big surprise. But I'm not lost, I'm not gone, I haven't forgot.

I start moving with the music. I move across the floor on my tiptoes, moving lightly on my feet.

These feelings I can't shake no more. These feelings are running out the door. I can feel it falling down, and I'm not coming back around. These feelings I can't take no more. This emptiness in the bottom drawer. It's getting harder to pretend, and I'm not coming back around again.
Remember when... I remember when it was together till the end. Now I'm alone again. Where do I begin? I cried a little bit, you died a little bit. Please say there's no regret, and say you won't forget.
But I'm not lost, I'm not gone, I haven't forgot.
These feelings I can't shake no more. These feelings are running out the door. I can feel it falling down, and I'm not coming back around. These feelings I can't take no more. This emptiness in the bottom drawer. It's getting harder to pretend, and I'm not coming back around again.
Remember when... That was then, now it's the end. I'm not coming back. I can't pretend. Remember When.
These feelings I can't shake no more. These feelings are running out the door. I can feel it falling down, and I'm not coming back around. These feelings I can't take no more. This emptiness in the bottom drawer. It's getting harder to pretend, and I'm not coming back around again...

I stare at my reflection again, tears in my eyes.

"You know you're not as pretty when you cry," Asher says.

"Ash," I walk over to him, and he wraps his arms around me.

"What happened?" He gently whispers, kissing the top of my head.

"My dad and I got into a fight, kinda."

"How do you get into a 'kinda' fight?"

"I accused him of not caring about me,"

"Becca, you know tnat he does."

"You don't know that!"

"Yes, I do. He's your father and he loves you."

"Doesn't mean he cares," I growl.

"Well, I know that he cares about you, especially how worried he sounded when he greeted me at the door. He's not the only one who cares you know."

"Are you saying that you care about me?"

"With all my heart." He leans down and softly brushes his lips against mine.

"I care about you too." I say before kissing him back.

"You know we kinda have to get started on rehearsing." Asher says, breaking apart.

"That's not as much fun." I pout, standing on my tiptoes, trying to kiss him again.

"The performance is tomorrow." He reasons, putting his hand over my mouth.

"Fine." I lick his hand, making him pull it away immediately.

"Was that really necessary?" He rubs his hand on his sweatpants, trying to remove the recent saliva.

"Yes,"

"You're unbelievable. I'll show you the moves and you follow. Try to keep up!"

"You know that's not a problem."

***

"I need to head home, it's late," Asher says. We've been rehearsing for almost four hours and my muscles are cramping. I need a break,

"You got the moves down, right?"

"Yep, gonna nail it tomorrow," I reply with a grin, "Goodnight,"

"Night," He gives me a quick peck on the lips, "Don't worry about tomorrow, you'll do great, I have faith in you," He flashes me a reassuring smile, and I return it. There is no way in hell I'm not gonna worry about tomorrow, I'm terrified.

I lie in my bed, staring at the ceiling. There's a sudden knock on the door, making me jump.

"Rebecca, can we talk?" My dad says.

"I don't want to see you right now," I reply.

"Please?"

"Fine, come in," He slowly opens the door, and I turn sideways on my bed so I don't have to look at him.

"I'm sorry Rebecca,"

"Do you even know what you're apologizing for?"

"No, but I don't want you to be angry with me."

"Fine, you're forgiven,"

"I have one more thing to talk with you about," I roll my eyes, "You shouldn't be so abrasive to everyone. I know that's not who you really are."

"I'm sorry, okay?" I sit up on my bed, facing my father, "I'm sorry I'm a disappointment, I'm sorry you have to put up with me, I'm sorry mom died and I didn't, I'm sorry." I feel tears slide down my face.

"That's not what-

"Just go away, please!" I look down. My father pauses for a moment and walks out. I lay back down and cry. I feel overwhelmed, like I can't breathe. I feel suffocated. Slowly, I drift off to sleep.

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