Living with Hope ✓ [ boyxboy ] [ Completed ]

10 | FIRST KISS

A/N : *skip if you want to* (read A/N at the end of this chapter to know more) 

10 | FIRST KISS
The day I kissed a boy was the last time I saw him. (Thanks a lot, Dad.)

Ivan's POV

I try not to think about my father. I try a lot.

But sometimes, I can't help it. Like right now. I'm sitting in one of the bathroom stalls of my school with my back pressed to the door, willing myself to stop remembering. Stop thinking.

It's not working. At all.

Pressing my eyes shut, I brace myself for whatever it is my mind wants to throw at me. I'm reliving something I don't want to...

xxx

My first crush was a guy. Obviously. That was probably when I knew for a fact I was gay. I was thirteen - both us were, actually. And, like every other guy in the grade, shorter than almost every girl in class.

My first crush was my best friend. I liked him. A lot. How couldn't I? He shared Kellin Quinn's first name and Gerard Way's surname. I liked him more than the two of them put together. I liked him more than I liked brownies with vanilla ice cream. I liked him more than my only pair of basketball shoes.

My first crush was Kellin Christopher Way. I'd just finished playing a game of Around The World with Tyler and Kellin. The three of us were sweaty and carefree - we didn't give two shits about college and prom and how we'd survive if our dad becomes a jobless alcoholic. We didn't think about it. We didn't have to.

My first crush looked as good as first crushes get. He had soft brown eyes and golden blonde hair that didn't have to be styled to look good. He was strong yet kind. Confident yet modest. Popular yet humble.

My first crush was beautiful on the inside out. The kind of person you'd be proud to call your best friend. We were on our way home. Tyler's house came first. We bid him goodbye as the two of us kept walking towards Kellin's house.

Something was in the air - I couldn't pinpoint what. I'd just done my first successful slam dunk that day and I couldn't stop bouncing on my heels. No other thirteen year old had managed to dunk yet. I was stoked.

Kellin had his hand around my neck. "You're the best player in the grade now, aren't you?"

"The whole town, Kellin. I'm the first one to dunk, aren't I?" I beamed. Kellin always made people happy. This time was no different.

He grinned. "Then I must be lucky. I'm best friends with a future NBA MVP."

I chuckle. His grip on my shoulder tightens. I feel a blush rising up my cheeks. We continue walking, talking as we do. Kellin kept throwing compliments at me, and I kept blushing, hoping he thought the scarlet in my cheeks was because of the heat of the midday sun.

When we reached Kellin's house, I almost felt sad. I completely enjoyed my time with him - my time alone with him. We did what normal friends did, but with him, things felt different. Special.

Kellin walked towards the locked door of his house and fiddled with the window next to it, where the house keys were usually hidden. Frowning, he checked his pockets and then turned back to me.

"What happened?" I asked, concerned.

He shook his head. "Mom forgot to leave the keys here. I can't get in."